I need that adventure, Its calling me...from the mountain top, side of the ocean, the dirt trail, the cool breeze, the deep drop, and the soft mist...a stillness comes and i know that this is what i was meant to do, a stillness of awe, a stillness where i can see Him...
- Emmanuil Morari
So E – a member of the team wrote this and I am stealing it cuz I read it and it just put me in a place where I remembered the moments where I have felt God asking me to do crazy things, and in the moment where I felt most overwhelmed, most doubtful…I just remember this peace falling over me and just having this moment with God where all I could feel and hear and think about was how close He felt and how I knew this was real and whatever He was saying at that moment – was going to happen, His way, and He would be there right next to me the whole way. ALIVE, for me, started in one of these moments
The first time I thought about ALIVE (well an art ministry) was one day during my quiet time in Argentina. I used to sit on this cement area leaning up against this like half wall. And He told me about the ministry one day. The idea for a ministry just came into my head and I just felt God say – that was me. Don’t brush it off – I am telling you to do this.
And it was just one of those moments and one of the first times I knew God was a real, close, personal God. SO close…
And another time was one I mentioned earlier – standing on the beach in Mar del Plata. And the quote above brought me back to that place…standing above the rocks, watching the waves crash and spray up, and just being above it all…and God asking me crazy things…but at the same time filling me with this powerful reassurance that I – shy, reserved, insecure, unmotivated me – could never have felt on my own when thinking that my future could look the way God was showing me at that moment.
and I can’t believe that I don’t think of those moments very often…they should be at the front of my mind ALL the time…close personal encounters with God…but they’re not. And that quote just reminded me of all that…
My prayer for this new year, for the team and for everyone…is that we will take the time to experience this. That we won’t just rush through things or try to get stuff done. But that we take the time to ask God what He wants, take time to listen and rest in the powerful life-changing stillness that comes with His presence. He wants to share…He wants us to follow…and He is willing to take the time to make sure we know His heart…but we have to listen.
I pray that this year is a year of new experiences…a year of finding out who God is and a year of God surprising us with His power, with His amazing love.
I pray that God romances you in a way you never imagined and that He gives you at least one of these moments…a moment in His presence…a moment of assurance…a moment of clarity, where the only thing that exists is you and Him…a moment of stillness of awe.
Blessings for 2010!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Find Your Way Back...
I found this song by Foolish Things and i love it because it gives a powerful picture of what God did for us, of how much Jesus loves us...and how important it is for us to do all we can to love Him and live for Him, no matter how hard it is sometimes...
It's going to crush you, inside and out,
It's going to break you, my son,
But - Jesus...
the choice is yours.
because I knowthe sin is theirs to pay, the debt is theirs to owe,
But we can make a way, close the gap their sin has made.
your blood could right their wrongs, and we could sing our song to call them...
"Find your way back to me,
I know your faults, but I was pierced so you'd be healed,
Turn your heart back to me,
I paid the cost 'cause I couldn't change the way I feel"
Can this cup be taken?
Dad I see, If I take their sin upon myself you'll turn your back on me,
I know they're guilty, but I love them too,
If my death can build a bridge for them...I'll bring them back to you
So I made a way,
Closed the gap your sin had made,
The blood can right your wrongs,
Would you listen to the song?
We're singing...
"Find your way back to me,
I know your faults, but I was pierced so you'd be healed,
Turn your heart back to me,
I paid the cost 'cause I couldn't change the way I feel"
It's going to crush you, inside and out,
It's going to break you, my son,
But - Jesus...
the choice is yours.
because I knowthe sin is theirs to pay, the debt is theirs to owe,
But we can make a way, close the gap their sin has made.
your blood could right their wrongs, and we could sing our song to call them...
"Find your way back to me,
I know your faults, but I was pierced so you'd be healed,
Turn your heart back to me,
I paid the cost 'cause I couldn't change the way I feel"
Can this cup be taken?
Dad I see, If I take their sin upon myself you'll turn your back on me,
I know they're guilty, but I love them too,
If my death can build a bridge for them...I'll bring them back to you
So I made a way,
Closed the gap your sin had made,
The blood can right your wrongs,
Would you listen to the song?
We're singing...
"Find your way back to me,
I know your faults, but I was pierced so you'd be healed,
Turn your heart back to me,
I paid the cost 'cause I couldn't change the way I feel"
Sunday, December 27, 2009
why we let God do things...
so like i wrote earlier - God put this together. He wrote the script (inspired by a Lecrae song), provided us the help and input we needed, He made sure we had the right equipment to film it to make sure it sounded and looked good. He helped the people memorize lines QUICK...He provided the creativity and the people and the time to edit it and within a week - it went from unwritten to written to filmed to edited and everything in between. CRAZY!
and that is how I know it wasn't us. it wasnt the actors or the filmers or the writers or whoever. it was God. absolutely...and it worked! and i WISH with everything in me that everyone could see who i was before i met God...that you could see that while i am creative and love art - i have NEVER had the desire to do anything with it, never actually done anything of my own accord, not motivated, not really talented...until He asked me to do it and brought the passion alive in me. i wish you could see that so you can FULLY see what God is doing. how CLEARLY He is working. but only i can truly know how much of this is Him, cuz i know what i can do...and i have seen Him take that and then just do His thing. and i LOVE it.
but the message of the video is powerful and it just really went with the message shared at edinbrook this morning.
that we cannot be complete in God, He cannot help us fully - until we are honest with Him. Until we acknowledge that we might not be perfect. that we might need some help.
and the great thing is...the GREATEST most overwhelming thing that God has really been drilling into my head lately...is that He will do all that He says. He'll do it. that God's word is real, and true and if He says it, if He says He will love us forever no matter what (which He does)...He will. if He says He'll forgive us and help us grow and use us for His master plan and not give up on us ever (which He does)...He will. and we never have to doubt that!!!
and i think the real gravity of that is finally hitting me...we never have to worry about Him leaving or quitting or getting angry...how amazing is that???
one of my favorite verses is in Isaiah...Isaiah 14:24. God saying - this is how i have said it will be...and so it will.
and hebrews chapter 6:13-20...God cannot lie. what He says is true and real. so we can rest in that. really rest in it.
that we can be real with Him, that we can tell Him the truth about us, that we can come to Him even when we're broken...because He does love us. Because that is true and it can't change.
so as you watch this...my prayer is that you allow God to speak, that the Holy Spirit meets you and that you really listen to what He has to say...and ask Him to show you what you havent told Him yet. what you havent talked about with Him yet...whatever that may be - let Him show you. and like Pastor Tom Gildow said this morning...ask God to show you what you really look like, in His eyes. cuz until we do that...until we allow Him to refine us to who He intended us to be...He can't use us. and we were meant for Him to use...that is the only place we'll find peace.
so thank you, God, for being our everything. for being more than we could ever ask for. for allowing us to be a part of your plan...it is a BEAUTIFUL thing...and can't wait to see what else is coming!
and that is how I know it wasn't us. it wasnt the actors or the filmers or the writers or whoever. it was God. absolutely...and it worked! and i WISH with everything in me that everyone could see who i was before i met God...that you could see that while i am creative and love art - i have NEVER had the desire to do anything with it, never actually done anything of my own accord, not motivated, not really talented...until He asked me to do it and brought the passion alive in me. i wish you could see that so you can FULLY see what God is doing. how CLEARLY He is working. but only i can truly know how much of this is Him, cuz i know what i can do...and i have seen Him take that and then just do His thing. and i LOVE it.
but the message of the video is powerful and it just really went with the message shared at edinbrook this morning.
that we cannot be complete in God, He cannot help us fully - until we are honest with Him. Until we acknowledge that we might not be perfect. that we might need some help.
and the great thing is...the GREATEST most overwhelming thing that God has really been drilling into my head lately...is that He will do all that He says. He'll do it. that God's word is real, and true and if He says it, if He says He will love us forever no matter what (which He does)...He will. if He says He'll forgive us and help us grow and use us for His master plan and not give up on us ever (which He does)...He will. and we never have to doubt that!!!
and i think the real gravity of that is finally hitting me...we never have to worry about Him leaving or quitting or getting angry...how amazing is that???
one of my favorite verses is in Isaiah...Isaiah 14:24. God saying - this is how i have said it will be...and so it will.
and hebrews chapter 6:13-20...God cannot lie. what He says is true and real. so we can rest in that. really rest in it.
that we can be real with Him, that we can tell Him the truth about us, that we can come to Him even when we're broken...because He does love us. Because that is true and it can't change.
so as you watch this...my prayer is that you allow God to speak, that the Holy Spirit meets you and that you really listen to what He has to say...and ask Him to show you what you havent told Him yet. what you havent talked about with Him yet...whatever that may be - let Him show you. and like Pastor Tom Gildow said this morning...ask God to show you what you really look like, in His eyes. cuz until we do that...until we allow Him to refine us to who He intended us to be...He can't use us. and we were meant for Him to use...that is the only place we'll find peace.
so thank you, God, for being our everything. for being more than we could ever ask for. for allowing us to be a part of your plan...it is a BEAUTIFUL thing...and can't wait to see what else is coming!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
christmas time...
one of the things that really was getting to me was that Christmas is now 3 days away and I just was not excited, not looking forward to it, nothing. I got shopping done, but was just not into it. Didn’t feel anything...even going to the christmas parties and celebrating with the team
And then a few days ago I was listening to Christmas music and it just hit me.
All the carols that we all hear and don’t always like…the lyrics are so powerful. SO powerful.
And I think it started to hit me…this is celebration time. and i just wanted to share these thoughts with you all.
This is the time to think about the people who were waiting for the Messiah to come. Waiting for hope that one day they could be saved and live in heaven, that God’s words would come true.
Just waiting, having faith, wondering…
And they did…and Jesus came.
Imagine how they felt! Just this incredible sigh of relief…He’s here. Finally…
And now…for us…we celebrate because we don’t have to wait. We don’t have to sit and wonder. We don’t have to guess when He will come…
Because He already did.
He already lived.
He already died.
He already saved us.
He already gave us the opportunity to live…
Its done, it happened.
JOY TO THE WORLD! The Lord is come…the Savior reigns!
Now…we can sleep, we can rest and sleep in a heavenly peace because everything is ok, all is calm.
We don’t have to worry anymore…He already did it!
So now we can be excited and thank God that He is faithful, thank Him because He has taken care of us…thank Him because He did it regardless of how we would react.
He has now put it in our hands…given us His gift.
And now…He waits on us…
And then a few days ago I was listening to Christmas music and it just hit me.
All the carols that we all hear and don’t always like…the lyrics are so powerful. SO powerful.
And I think it started to hit me…this is celebration time. and i just wanted to share these thoughts with you all.
This is the time to think about the people who were waiting for the Messiah to come. Waiting for hope that one day they could be saved and live in heaven, that God’s words would come true.
Just waiting, having faith, wondering…
And they did…and Jesus came.
Imagine how they felt! Just this incredible sigh of relief…He’s here. Finally…
And now…for us…we celebrate because we don’t have to wait. We don’t have to sit and wonder. We don’t have to guess when He will come…
Because He already did.
He already lived.
He already died.
He already saved us.
He already gave us the opportunity to live…
Its done, it happened.
JOY TO THE WORLD! The Lord is come…the Savior reigns!
Now…we can sleep, we can rest and sleep in a heavenly peace because everything is ok, all is calm.
We don’t have to worry anymore…He already did it!
So now we can be excited and thank God that He is faithful, thank Him because He has taken care of us…thank Him because He did it regardless of how we would react.
He has now put it in our hands…given us His gift.
And now…He waits on us…
God's control...
so i am just relaxing and resting in God's control right now...its a beautiful thing. :) really good...for some reason, the word "elation" comes to mind as to my mood right now...? i dont even know if i know what that means.
so we are putting together a video for this coming sunday's service at church. and its been such a crazy time and really - sarah and i have known what we want to do for awhile and somehow it really just snuck up on us...but God woke us up and motivated us just in time and in classic jillian/sarah style we met up one day and somehow it all came together.
and truly, God just wrote the whole thing. it came out, quick and God put all the words there and provided wisdom from a certain husband of sarah's to help us with the man's character's words...(who knew women tended to be more wordy?). but it all came together.
and thinking we had gone the easiest route with a video we weren't worried about putting it together. but for some reason...not something we would ever normally do...on sunday morning we decided to ask a guy who knows video about a camera question...and found out that we need someone to run sound, or it won't work.
and miracle upon all miracles - one of them was free the night we needed (HUGE thank you to Jon Meester!!!).
SO...God just had us ask, otherwise, it absolutely would not have worked. it just wouldn't have because we would never have known.
so He took care of that, and then we got the scripts to the 3 involved kind of late (if they read this, they're gonna say kind of?????...haha) not real long scripts, but still need to at least kind of memorize, so we were a little worried about that. i spend most of the day just PRAYING that God would take over the filming and just give them the right words and all of that.
and after a little confusion and figuring stuff out - we did it. and abbie, joseph and missy did an amazing job...love the talent in them. such a blessing to watch God work and use His gifts. and Emmanuil and Jon took over filming...and did a GREAT job. also love watching God provide ways to learn and teach His gifts. so great. and in not a lot of time, the video was filmed. and all we need to do now is edit!
so crazy how it all just WORKED. God is so in control. and its such a blessing to realize when He is working like this because that is when you KNOW that its God's. that He wants it to happen, that its His work, because He is making sure it gets done.
so beautiful and i just LOVE it.
so pray for us as we edit and finalize this thing...not a lot of time, but it'll be fine. i'm not worried because God is taking care of it! this is His project and i am just going to let Him take over...and show us His amazing creativity!
i love this team, i love seeing gifts used, i love seeing people see God work...
so we are putting together a video for this coming sunday's service at church. and its been such a crazy time and really - sarah and i have known what we want to do for awhile and somehow it really just snuck up on us...but God woke us up and motivated us just in time and in classic jillian/sarah style we met up one day and somehow it all came together.
and truly, God just wrote the whole thing. it came out, quick and God put all the words there and provided wisdom from a certain husband of sarah's to help us with the man's character's words...(who knew women tended to be more wordy?). but it all came together.
and thinking we had gone the easiest route with a video we weren't worried about putting it together. but for some reason...not something we would ever normally do...on sunday morning we decided to ask a guy who knows video about a camera question...and found out that we need someone to run sound, or it won't work.
and miracle upon all miracles - one of them was free the night we needed (HUGE thank you to Jon Meester!!!).
SO...God just had us ask, otherwise, it absolutely would not have worked. it just wouldn't have because we would never have known.
so He took care of that, and then we got the scripts to the 3 involved kind of late (if they read this, they're gonna say kind of?????...haha) not real long scripts, but still need to at least kind of memorize, so we were a little worried about that. i spend most of the day just PRAYING that God would take over the filming and just give them the right words and all of that.
and after a little confusion and figuring stuff out - we did it. and abbie, joseph and missy did an amazing job...love the talent in them. such a blessing to watch God work and use His gifts. and Emmanuil and Jon took over filming...and did a GREAT job. also love watching God provide ways to learn and teach His gifts. so great. and in not a lot of time, the video was filmed. and all we need to do now is edit!
so crazy how it all just WORKED. God is so in control. and its such a blessing to realize when He is working like this because that is when you KNOW that its God's. that He wants it to happen, that its His work, because He is making sure it gets done.
so beautiful and i just LOVE it.
so pray for us as we edit and finalize this thing...not a lot of time, but it'll be fine. i'm not worried because God is taking care of it! this is His project and i am just going to let Him take over...and show us His amazing creativity!
i love this team, i love seeing gifts used, i love seeing people see God work...
Saturday, December 19, 2009
christmas party
we met as a team on thursday in our "dungeon". it was our christmas party! so we had yummy treats and had white elephant gifts :) and since we didn't have dice to play with...we were resourceful and made some. sarah took some empty boxes and drew black dots on them and we used those to play with. (and no...they were not perfectly accurate...;))
some of the gifts were pretty epic...lots of good stuff...
and then we took some time to talk...well, i talked. haha...but there is this book that i have been working on forever and i wish i had the discipline to sit down and actually read it. its called "the worshipping artist". i cant think of the author right now - but it is so good! just talks all about learning who God is and what the gift of art means and how to use it to worship. its really powerful stuff.
so one of the days he talked about finding out what it is you feel like God wants to use you for...or just one of the things. and then (for example) if you sing...dedicate your voice to God. or if you draw...dedicate your hands and your ideas. etc...just giving God free reign with your gifts.
so we had a time of prayer where they all split into groups of 3 or 4 and prayed for each other's gifts, praying that they will grow, praying for opportunities.
and i really pray that we all continue to do this. just continue to give our gift and bodies over to God...cuz like i said below...He knows so much better how to use them. has so many better plans for them.
and after that...we played a little improv acting game called "bus driver". so funny, sarah has a video we can put up later.
and then we had a prayer time...i love praying with them. my favorite thing is praying in groups...unstructured and holy spirit-led...so powerful. i need to make that a priority.
and then we freed them...haha.
now we won't see them at ALIVE til next year, sad story.
but this week we are putting together a video for next sunday's service!
so keep that in your prayers...its a powerful message and it will be a great service!
God is so amazing and always has surprises for us!
some of the gifts were pretty epic...lots of good stuff...
and then we took some time to talk...well, i talked. haha...but there is this book that i have been working on forever and i wish i had the discipline to sit down and actually read it. its called "the worshipping artist". i cant think of the author right now - but it is so good! just talks all about learning who God is and what the gift of art means and how to use it to worship. its really powerful stuff.
so one of the days he talked about finding out what it is you feel like God wants to use you for...or just one of the things. and then (for example) if you sing...dedicate your voice to God. or if you draw...dedicate your hands and your ideas. etc...just giving God free reign with your gifts.
so we had a time of prayer where they all split into groups of 3 or 4 and prayed for each other's gifts, praying that they will grow, praying for opportunities.
and i really pray that we all continue to do this. just continue to give our gift and bodies over to God...cuz like i said below...He knows so much better how to use them. has so many better plans for them.
and after that...we played a little improv acting game called "bus driver". so funny, sarah has a video we can put up later.
and then we had a prayer time...i love praying with them. my favorite thing is praying in groups...unstructured and holy spirit-led...so powerful. i need to make that a priority.
and then we freed them...haha.
now we won't see them at ALIVE til next year, sad story.
but this week we are putting together a video for next sunday's service!
so keep that in your prayers...its a powerful message and it will be a great service!
God is so amazing and always has surprises for us!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
something big...
Oh man...so love that that video (below) is on here. That was our very first thing that we ever did. its so funny cuz it made me think of sarah and i starting all this and one time sitting in my basement, going through songs, knowing what we wanted to do, just trying to find a song to match it. and kutless's "run" won. so crazy to look back at that.
before we were ALIVE, before we knew if anyone would actually be a part of it...just following God's voice. haha...so fun though.
this past week has been crazy for me. I am at a place in life where i am just waiting. waiting on God to tell me what comes next. while i have a good job, and love spending time on the team...i do not love telling people...no, im not in school, no i dont know what im doing with my life...just waiting on God. :) but thats a pride thing. I know what God has asked of me...and i am just waiting. but recently He has given me some direction...to take classes. to learn more. So i signed up for a photography class. I am really feeling like God wants me to be equipped for whatever is coming. He has also given sarah and i a vision for the future of ALIVE...the near future...but i won't say what it is, cuz details are being worked out and we haven't talked to the team yet ;) soon, hopefully...but its so great cuz i feel like God has just been confirming over and over for me that this team is going to keep growing, and that He has big plans for it.
I am really excited to see what is coming...i know what i can imagine, but God's plans are so much bigger and better.
1 Corinthians 2:9...no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those that love him...
i LOVE that. it is so true. like i said in an earlier post...i could have planned out my future...thought of all the things i wanted to happen...and God said...ok...that could work...but how about you let me try...see which you like better. So i let Him work, and its absolutely beautiful how well He knows my heart. what i really need and want.
there's a song by john waller...called "something big".
one of my favorites...
"It's time to dream big dreams. To see Your vision become reality.
‘Cause it’s for You, by You, those who Love You-
wanna do Something, so big, It’s destined to fail without You, Lord
It’s gonna fail without You, Lord
Something so great, It takes a miracle to do
We, Your children Wanna do something BIG for You.
that is my prayer. that this team doesn't settle for good. or even great by human standards. but that we shoot for something BIG. something so big, that only God can do it. to give people an opportunity they might not otherwise have to be impacted by God in a crazy powerful way.
I remember one day i was standing on the beach in Mar del Plata, Argentina (the ocean is me and God's date spot ;) ) but i just remember hearing him say..."what do you want? if you could do anything, what would you want? tell me..." and i just really felt these huge things come to mind, that i know came from Him - for a team and for missions and just a lot of stuff...and i told Him...reluctantly - because i couldnt help think - who am i to think I could be able to do all this? - but God wanted honesty. He wanted me to really say what was on my heart, trust Him with it. it was just a crazy powerful time...and then when i finished...i just felt Him say..."ok...its yours." and it was just this amazing thing...and since i have come back to the U.S...He has started to give me those desires that were on my heart that day. and i can just see Him answer prayers and its just so crazy to really know that God is moving, and God is real...
my prayer for this team is that we ask God for the big things. give him free reign...and really ask Him what He wants. because when we ask for what WE want...we miss out. His plans are SO much bigger and greater and so much more powerful...so it is so important that we ask Him to share His heart with us. that we find out what He wants of us, and allow Him to do it.
before we were ALIVE, before we knew if anyone would actually be a part of it...just following God's voice. haha...so fun though.
this past week has been crazy for me. I am at a place in life where i am just waiting. waiting on God to tell me what comes next. while i have a good job, and love spending time on the team...i do not love telling people...no, im not in school, no i dont know what im doing with my life...just waiting on God. :) but thats a pride thing. I know what God has asked of me...and i am just waiting. but recently He has given me some direction...to take classes. to learn more. So i signed up for a photography class. I am really feeling like God wants me to be equipped for whatever is coming. He has also given sarah and i a vision for the future of ALIVE...the near future...but i won't say what it is, cuz details are being worked out and we haven't talked to the team yet ;) soon, hopefully...but its so great cuz i feel like God has just been confirming over and over for me that this team is going to keep growing, and that He has big plans for it.
I am really excited to see what is coming...i know what i can imagine, but God's plans are so much bigger and better.
1 Corinthians 2:9...no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those that love him...
i LOVE that. it is so true. like i said in an earlier post...i could have planned out my future...thought of all the things i wanted to happen...and God said...ok...that could work...but how about you let me try...see which you like better. So i let Him work, and its absolutely beautiful how well He knows my heart. what i really need and want.
there's a song by john waller...called "something big".
one of my favorites...
"It's time to dream big dreams. To see Your vision become reality.
‘Cause it’s for You, by You, those who Love You-
wanna do Something, so big, It’s destined to fail without You, Lord
It’s gonna fail without You, Lord
Something so great, It takes a miracle to do
We, Your children Wanna do something BIG for You.
that is my prayer. that this team doesn't settle for good. or even great by human standards. but that we shoot for something BIG. something so big, that only God can do it. to give people an opportunity they might not otherwise have to be impacted by God in a crazy powerful way.
I remember one day i was standing on the beach in Mar del Plata, Argentina (the ocean is me and God's date spot ;) ) but i just remember hearing him say..."what do you want? if you could do anything, what would you want? tell me..." and i just really felt these huge things come to mind, that i know came from Him - for a team and for missions and just a lot of stuff...and i told Him...reluctantly - because i couldnt help think - who am i to think I could be able to do all this? - but God wanted honesty. He wanted me to really say what was on my heart, trust Him with it. it was just a crazy powerful time...and then when i finished...i just felt Him say..."ok...its yours." and it was just this amazing thing...and since i have come back to the U.S...He has started to give me those desires that were on my heart that day. and i can just see Him answer prayers and its just so crazy to really know that God is moving, and God is real...
my prayer for this team is that we ask God for the big things. give him free reign...and really ask Him what He wants. because when we ask for what WE want...we miss out. His plans are SO much bigger and greater and so much more powerful...so it is so important that we ask Him to share His heart with us. that we find out what He wants of us, and allow Him to do it.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Inside view of ALIVE
I came up with the Idea of making a video documentary style of an ALIVE practice. Yesterday, on thursday i got the green light from J&S and started doing interviews of the certain "characters" I was nervous on the filming of the actual practice, i thought maybe that people would say a little and just be done, but you guys totally worked off each other beautifully. It was really hard not to laugh when recording you guys. You guys were great, thanks for participating. Thanks for letting me do this. Ben, i didnt know if you could do it, but you did! Austin you were great as being that pompus actor and it was funny to see you all full of yourself. Joe...it did not know you could be that funny, you were awesome, props to Jordan for shining like a star! Thank you everybody else, you guys were awesome! I love the last scene with Tyler and Jordan showing up late, thanks for coming guys. So....it was great! I...love ALIVE...yea.....
a day with ALIVE...
so last night at practice Sarah and I handed over the reins to Emmanuil. he came to us with an idea - to make a video of an "ALIVE practice". sort of a documentary...but all the characters made up. So that's what we did last night.
for 2 hours, he walked around with his camera, videotaping everything that was going on. it was so funny watching everyone embrace their characters and just make it all up as they went.
we were "practicing" a drama that we had been working on and it was just really really funny. there was a star, a diva, a "director's pet", late people...everything that really makes a good show. sarah and i got to play the indifferent leaders...passing off all the responsibility and not paying attention at all...which is pretty accurate actually...;)
not really - and actually we were talking while it was all happening and it was really weird and tough not to speak up and be in charge. so when you see the end result...just know it was not inspired by actual people...:)
just really different. but it was good to see them all work together and see it work...
but one of the best parts - seeing them react the exact same way as we do when people just talk and go on tangents and make noise...(which never happens...just an example...;))
but Emmanuil will be taking the video and editing it and he PROMISED it would be done by saturday...we said - oh, don't rush, just have it done by january...but he said - no...i want it to be done by saturday...maybe tonight, but i just don't know if i'll be able to.
such incredible dedication he has. its really beautiful...:)
ANYWAYS...it was a lot of fun.
we were missing a few people, but its just such a great group of people.
God has truly blessed us and put the right people together.
and He is really helping me realize this.
He is also just laying on my heart A LOT lately to just keep covering the whole thing in prayer, to keep looking to Him for what comes next, to just stay aware of what He is telling and showing me. something is coming...not sure exactly what it is, but He is also reminding me that He started this team with a big purpose in mind. bigger than we know. so we just need to be praying, praying that we, as a team, stay alert. and continue to seek Him in EVERYTHING we do.
also sarah and i are praying and working on a video/drama coming up - for the sunday after christmas. we have an idea..and we are in the process of pulling it off. the idea that we need to face the truth about ourselves and be sincere with God. not pretending to have it all together...but realizing that God knows ALL that we do and say and think and feel...and He wants to be a part of it. we shouldn't hide from it. because until we give it to Him, until we really admit it and recognize it...He can't take it. He will never force us to do anything...He wants us to come to Him. this has probably been the greatest and most life-changing thing i ever learned from God. to learn to be vulnerable...to risk hurting. scariest, most painful thing i have ever done...but the greatest. by far. i finally learned to open my hands...really open them...let go of everything...and God took over - and surprise! He knew what He was doing, He is taking care of me, and truth - all the things that have happened in my life over the past 2 years...all the things that made me the happiest...i would never have done or experienced if God hadn't led me to them. because they were all scary, all risky, all crazy...but God knows. and i am SO glad i got to experience ALL i have so far...and that He will continue to take care of me...He will continue to work and ask me to do crazy things. :) and im excited.
so keep that drama in your prayers if you think of it.
and keep the team. that we will allow God to speak and work and really truly finally open our hands and let go of whatever it is that holds us back.
next week is our christmas party!
yay!
for 2 hours, he walked around with his camera, videotaping everything that was going on. it was so funny watching everyone embrace their characters and just make it all up as they went.
we were "practicing" a drama that we had been working on and it was just really really funny. there was a star, a diva, a "director's pet", late people...everything that really makes a good show. sarah and i got to play the indifferent leaders...passing off all the responsibility and not paying attention at all...which is pretty accurate actually...;)
not really - and actually we were talking while it was all happening and it was really weird and tough not to speak up and be in charge. so when you see the end result...just know it was not inspired by actual people...:)
just really different. but it was good to see them all work together and see it work...
but one of the best parts - seeing them react the exact same way as we do when people just talk and go on tangents and make noise...(which never happens...just an example...;))
but Emmanuil will be taking the video and editing it and he PROMISED it would be done by saturday...we said - oh, don't rush, just have it done by january...but he said - no...i want it to be done by saturday...maybe tonight, but i just don't know if i'll be able to.
such incredible dedication he has. its really beautiful...:)
ANYWAYS...it was a lot of fun.
we were missing a few people, but its just such a great group of people.
God has truly blessed us and put the right people together.
and He is really helping me realize this.
He is also just laying on my heart A LOT lately to just keep covering the whole thing in prayer, to keep looking to Him for what comes next, to just stay aware of what He is telling and showing me. something is coming...not sure exactly what it is, but He is also reminding me that He started this team with a big purpose in mind. bigger than we know. so we just need to be praying, praying that we, as a team, stay alert. and continue to seek Him in EVERYTHING we do.
also sarah and i are praying and working on a video/drama coming up - for the sunday after christmas. we have an idea..and we are in the process of pulling it off. the idea that we need to face the truth about ourselves and be sincere with God. not pretending to have it all together...but realizing that God knows ALL that we do and say and think and feel...and He wants to be a part of it. we shouldn't hide from it. because until we give it to Him, until we really admit it and recognize it...He can't take it. He will never force us to do anything...He wants us to come to Him. this has probably been the greatest and most life-changing thing i ever learned from God. to learn to be vulnerable...to risk hurting. scariest, most painful thing i have ever done...but the greatest. by far. i finally learned to open my hands...really open them...let go of everything...and God took over - and surprise! He knew what He was doing, He is taking care of me, and truth - all the things that have happened in my life over the past 2 years...all the things that made me the happiest...i would never have done or experienced if God hadn't led me to them. because they were all scary, all risky, all crazy...but God knows. and i am SO glad i got to experience ALL i have so far...and that He will continue to take care of me...He will continue to work and ask me to do crazy things. :) and im excited.
so keep that drama in your prayers if you think of it.
and keep the team. that we will allow God to speak and work and really truly finally open our hands and let go of whatever it is that holds us back.
next week is our christmas party!
yay!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
psalm 32:9
Psalm 32:9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.
so one thing God is using this team to show me is the incredible difference between what I can do and what He can do. i think i never realized how extremely different the two were.
But in the last year and a half or so since we started this...God is just showing me over and over again what He can do.
And it is so crazy how i can just FEEL when i am starting to take on something on my own, without God's help, without asking Him, without taking the time to pray about it and start to think that I am so talented and so creative...and then all of a sudden i get stressed out and unsure and nothing works and its just so overwhelming.
and humbling...
and I remember that I am not so talented and so creative. And I wasn’t at all until I finally let God take over. God is the gifted one…He just lets me use it.
how many times do i have to test Him? how many times do i have to wander away, and keep wandering until He pulls me back again...why is it so hard to just stay right next to Him?
Reading in Psalms again - Psalm 32:9 – (above)
I read that and it was like...whoa...that is exactly what i do! haha...but really...just kind of wander off, stop reading my bible, stop praying over things, stop taking time to learn... until i am pulled back by the bit in my mouth, - God opening my eyes to where i have ended up, yet again...that is humbling.
God has given us freedom...He doesn't want to force us to do things.
With all that He has done, all the times He has proven Himself and taken care of me and shown His heart to me…I still need HIM to pull me back, keep me near Him…I don’t do it on my own. And it’s a hard reality.
So my prayer these days is that God just gives me a passion for Him. An incredibly strong desire to stay right next to Him, never wanting to stray. To be truly satisfied by Him and only Him.
I have the same prayer for the team…for all of us. That we realize the depth of the gifts God gives us…seek to know more about them and start to understand the incredible power they contain as long as we keep Him in control of them, use them for what He wants and constantly constantly constantly ask what HE wants…seek His will…and only then will we even begin to scrape the surface of how close and powerful and real God can be…
so one thing God is using this team to show me is the incredible difference between what I can do and what He can do. i think i never realized how extremely different the two were.
But in the last year and a half or so since we started this...God is just showing me over and over again what He can do.
And it is so crazy how i can just FEEL when i am starting to take on something on my own, without God's help, without asking Him, without taking the time to pray about it and start to think that I am so talented and so creative...and then all of a sudden i get stressed out and unsure and nothing works and its just so overwhelming.
and humbling...
and I remember that I am not so talented and so creative. And I wasn’t at all until I finally let God take over. God is the gifted one…He just lets me use it.
how many times do i have to test Him? how many times do i have to wander away, and keep wandering until He pulls me back again...why is it so hard to just stay right next to Him?
Reading in Psalms again - Psalm 32:9 – (above)
I read that and it was like...whoa...that is exactly what i do! haha...but really...just kind of wander off, stop reading my bible, stop praying over things, stop taking time to learn... until i am pulled back by the bit in my mouth, - God opening my eyes to where i have ended up, yet again...that is humbling.
God has given us freedom...He doesn't want to force us to do things.
With all that He has done, all the times He has proven Himself and taken care of me and shown His heart to me…I still need HIM to pull me back, keep me near Him…I don’t do it on my own. And it’s a hard reality.
So my prayer these days is that God just gives me a passion for Him. An incredibly strong desire to stay right next to Him, never wanting to stray. To be truly satisfied by Him and only Him.
I have the same prayer for the team…for all of us. That we realize the depth of the gifts God gives us…seek to know more about them and start to understand the incredible power they contain as long as we keep Him in control of them, use them for what He wants and constantly constantly constantly ask what HE wants…seek His will…and only then will we even begin to scrape the surface of how close and powerful and real God can be…
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Psalm 30
After 2 weeks of not seeing the ALIVE team (we gave them thanksgiving day off) we are having a half meeting tonight. Haha…practicing for an upcoming drama that we might be doing at the Chestnuts, Carols, and a Big Band service at edinbrook church. I’m excited to have ALIVE tonight, it feels like its been forever and its just weird when we don’t have it for awhile. But we’ll only be seeing about half the people, so not quite back to normal yet…
But so much stuff coming up for us – really exciting, but it’s a lot. I love when it gets this way though…every opportunity that we get to put something together is another opportunity for God to step in and show us how creative He is.
I have been reading through the Psalms lately because, well, I never have. So anyways – I just read Psalm 30 and I just really loved it.
It says – “I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.”
And I LOVE that – as it pertains to ALIVE mostly…in this team – while in Argentina, I asked – begged – for help, begged Him to give me something, to show me His power, to use me, in a big way, however He wanted.
Haha…so He said, go home, put a team together, help them see the gifts I have given them and give them an outlet to use them. Ha – I said…huh? Haha…but then I realized that I just had to follow Him, trust Him. And with motivation and courage I know had to come from Him (I am the ultimate person to have an idea and just never actually do it), He gave me Sarah – after putting the same vision on her heart at the same time – to actually get me to do it and not just talk about it. She is definitely the doer of the team – SO grateful for her and her heart.
But its so amazing how we don’t see our HUGE prayers answered. We get so caught up in it – we forget to look and see that we asked for help, I ask these huge, broad things like – use me…use me to spread your word – and then all of a sudden I’m in the middle of this crazy thing of 20 students who love art with these great personalities and amazing gifts of ALL different types and I am just so overwhelmed because opportunities pop up and doors open and ideas come and He just takes care of it, and I don’t even acknowledge that He answered my prayer exactly. And THAT is an incredibly overwhelming thing… And the line of the psalm that says – “for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me”…yeah – it gets hard, and yeah, sometimes its frustrating, but the fact of the matter is that we have NOT been overcome…we have not failed…we are still standing. I tend to look at “close calls” and focus on doing all I can to make sure I don’t fall…that I don’t see all the times I SHOULD have failed…but didn’t. Cuz God was there…doing exactly what He promised. We wont always have a tangible safety net or a back up plan…but we will never fall, as long as we are seeking God. God is always there. And no matter how hard that is to believe…He hasn’t failed me yet. And until He does…I have no choice but to keep trusting, keep going on with this group, keep seeing what else He wants to do…
But so much stuff coming up for us – really exciting, but it’s a lot. I love when it gets this way though…every opportunity that we get to put something together is another opportunity for God to step in and show us how creative He is.
I have been reading through the Psalms lately because, well, I never have. So anyways – I just read Psalm 30 and I just really loved it.
It says – “I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.”
And I LOVE that – as it pertains to ALIVE mostly…in this team – while in Argentina, I asked – begged – for help, begged Him to give me something, to show me His power, to use me, in a big way, however He wanted.
Haha…so He said, go home, put a team together, help them see the gifts I have given them and give them an outlet to use them. Ha – I said…huh? Haha…but then I realized that I just had to follow Him, trust Him. And with motivation and courage I know had to come from Him (I am the ultimate person to have an idea and just never actually do it), He gave me Sarah – after putting the same vision on her heart at the same time – to actually get me to do it and not just talk about it. She is definitely the doer of the team – SO grateful for her and her heart.
But its so amazing how we don’t see our HUGE prayers answered. We get so caught up in it – we forget to look and see that we asked for help, I ask these huge, broad things like – use me…use me to spread your word – and then all of a sudden I’m in the middle of this crazy thing of 20 students who love art with these great personalities and amazing gifts of ALL different types and I am just so overwhelmed because opportunities pop up and doors open and ideas come and He just takes care of it, and I don’t even acknowledge that He answered my prayer exactly. And THAT is an incredibly overwhelming thing… And the line of the psalm that says – “for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me”…yeah – it gets hard, and yeah, sometimes its frustrating, but the fact of the matter is that we have NOT been overcome…we have not failed…we are still standing. I tend to look at “close calls” and focus on doing all I can to make sure I don’t fall…that I don’t see all the times I SHOULD have failed…but didn’t. Cuz God was there…doing exactly what He promised. We wont always have a tangible safety net or a back up plan…but we will never fall, as long as we are seeking God. God is always there. And no matter how hard that is to believe…He hasn’t failed me yet. And until He does…I have no choice but to keep trusting, keep going on with this group, keep seeing what else He wants to do…
Friday, November 20, 2009
Stage Makeup
So every thursday we meet up at Edinbrook Church and play with different kinds of art. A few weeks ago we brought in a bunch of makeup and face paint and gave everyone a "theme" and a partner and sent them off to create that theme on their partner using the makeup. It was so fun, just playing with it all, seeing what works, what doesnt...and just seeing them transform into these other characters. And while all this was going on we walked around with a camera...capturing these beautiful artists at work...:) They created everything from fantasy to high fashion to dark to using colors or blacks and whites. totally open to their interpretation, and they did a beautiful job.
So that is what the pictures of people in face paint are from.
We are planning to do it again soon, do some demonstrations and teach how to create the effects they want for the stage or for pictures. You never know when you might need it...:) Sarah and I just thank God so much for the time we get to have with this group every thursday. Its so fun and we just love the opportunity to teach and encourage and play and learn from the team too...it is so amazing how God knew that we would love this. That He knew that we would all come together and just be willing to learn and work with each other to see what He can do through us. and so amazing that this...being creative, playing, and trying new things - that this is glorifying God. That this is what He is calling us to...so crazy how well He knows our hearts. He knows exactly what will make us feel the joy He wants for us and He organizes it so that if we are following His path - we get to feel it. we get to get to know God in the way that we understand, the way that impacts us deeply...and for this team...its with art. Being equipped for whatever is to come...whether with makeup or drama or writing or drawing or whatever...
this team was started with the intention of ministry...and while we have done it...so much more is coming. outside the church building...God has so much planned and its just so exciting. following God's plan, taking the risks...SO worth it. He knows...we just have to remember to trust that He knows us better than we know us...and His plan is perfect...:)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Friendship...
So about a year ago God called Sarah and I to put together a group of people who love art and love God. We had NO idea what to expect or who would come or what we would do...seeing as neither sarah or i have ever been in charge of something like this, never written anything or had the desire to write anything...it was purely a God thing. a very very cool God thing.
And after a year - we have seen God do amazing things...AMAZING things. and He has brought together an amazing group of kids...who are incredibly gifted. It has been so beautiful and such a blessing for us to see how God has gifted them and how He can reveal things about ourselves we never knew. And He has opened so many doors and opportunities for the team and for members of the team. In doing dramas and writing dramas and poetry and choreographing dances and shows and it is just so much fun.
Truth is my heart belongs to this team...God has just transformed my passions and dreams into His and it is so exciting to see and to imagine what is coming.
so if you want to follow this - it is going to be open to the team. a place where the team can post what they are going through and what God is doing...get a glimpse of the creativity that God has gifted them with...and its only been a year - this is just the beginning...
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