The Fall

choreographed by Austin Eckstrom.

danced to the song Trogdor by Cellofourte.

this dance took a lot of time and effort on the choreographer's part AND the dancers' part. but it was so worth it. the team really stepped up and worked so hard on this. they learned it and it turned out amazing. so did the masks...all painted by austin, emmanuil, and sam n. they did such an awesome job with them...

and all together it creates a cool picture of how easily we can get pulled into something looks so good and exciting at first...but then quickly gets out of control...and by the time we realize, it seems almost impossible to get out.

but what we don't always realize is that Jesus is always there. He never leaves...no matter how many times we push Him away. and He is the only one who can truly save us from the things that trap us and overwhelm us.

how amazing is that??? He knows how much we need Him, so He never leaves. He keeps loving us, keeps watching out for us...and all He wants is for us to turn to Him and love Him back...with everything in us. and how crazy is it to think that its even something we have to think about??? unconditional, perfect, holy love.......or the world that promises only to entertain us for the moment and nothing more. but we do struggle to surrender fully - myself completely included.

my prayer is that we can see all of it for what it really is and see that God is every bit as good and perfect as He says He is...and He is the only one who ever will be enough forever.

and in turn, learn to love Him the way He deserves...

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked.
Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place—the Most High, who is my refuge— no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
Psalm 91:7-11

Anger

choreographed and danced by Ashley Hart.
to original music by Chelsea Kimball.

This dance is a product of a lot of spiritual battle. Satan made it very clear throughout the process of putting this together that He did not want this dance performed...ashley had trouble remembering her choreography - not a normal thing for her at all, even the night before we hadn't seen the final version, she was feeling sick with a cold and feeling tired and dizzy, etc. but in it we spent time praying with her and over her and it truly was a battle. and after A LOT of prayer, this is the end result. in the end...God won. He did His thing - and Satan couldn't do a thing about it. This is his creativity and gifts at work...beautiful.




i see things like this and i wish i could dance or write music...they are such amazing gifts and have such powerful abilities to portray pictures of God's love with His power. im not saying at all that i am not amazingly grateful for everything God has given me - because i am SO grateful...i'm just so in awe of all the different aspects of Him.
this is just a glimpse of the body of Christ...and i just love seeing how it all works together.

God amazes me over and over with His creativity and i just love knowing that this is only a part of what He can do....and only the beginning of what He has planned for this team.

psalm 139...He's got it.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139: 1-7 & 23-24

this passage has hit me in a huge way in the last few days...
this time in my life is SO huge and i am being tested and taught and stretched...and while it gets tiring and hard at times - its so so so worth it. Its how He prepares us for what is coming...because He knows. and He knows what we are lacking.
i love this time of my life right now, as crazy as it is, i am trying to just soak it all in - not get too focused on what is next, but just trust that God has it all under control.
and the thing is - is that He actually does. He has shown me over and over again in the last few months that He is in control. He knows it all and He is in control of it all. its beautiful and i just am so so so in awe of how true it is.
just today there was a situation where i had the opportunity to get so angry and offended and get the blame off of me and put it on someone else...and i prayed. and instead of me having to worry about it - God just fixed it. just like that. this huge problem went away...and i am just so grateful that i took the time to refocus on Him...because my flesh wanted to make it ugly. but He's in control. :) its not always easy, but if it was - we wouldnt have to be learning the lesson.
so like in the psalm - my prayer is that God will search me...search all of me and keep on refining me...so that i can continue to experience more and more of Him. love it.

Worship?

hey this is Emmanuil,

So at the last meeting, we all got "spiritual reading" for the upcoming missions trip. The book that was passed out was The Worshiping Artist by Rory Noland. It was a book that Jillian ranted on about sometimes at ALIVE meetings, which I didnt really pay that much attention. Some of the things she read out of it were kinda cool. But I never really wanted to read it, the cheesy cover didnt help either. So they passed it out and it became mandatory reading last week.

So yesterday i picked it up and started reading the intro and throught the entire first chapter. Let me tell you this: It was awesome! I was super surprised, the chapter began to define what worship was and caught on to me and dragged me through the rest of the chapter, I was soon writing extensive answers to the follow up questions (which is surprising for me). The chapter described what is worship and explained that its not just the half hour you sing on sunday morning, that worship is everything you do! One thing i read that got me super jazzed up, I even underlined in pen! yea thats right i defaced a book! (Even though its mine now) anyway what it said was: "Simply put, worship is our response to the presence of God"-wow that is so cool right? I thought the book would talk about music for most of the time and the other the how its fun to paint while you listen to the Christian rock station. But in fact it is totally about how you respond to God to say that you know that he is there and what you do when you know that.(Don't yell at me, because i know there are other parts to worship.) But it was so cool to read something that I usually would not enjoy reading, a book that is totally "christian" but thats a foolish thing to even say, because its not "Chritian" its real and that is something awesome to read about

Another thing that I just love about this book so far is just how many awesome points it has on certain things. Many times throughout the chapter I started to laugh because of the things that totally matched up to the things I think about and sometimes feel like no body understands. I just love to see the things that I think about alot, just simply stated. Its so great, I answered all the Qs and even started to do the personal action steps, which are pretty sweet. Its something that i love doing because in reading this book, answering these questions, and taking up some of those challange actions is my own way of private worship, amongst other things.

Well, I was pretty excited about this, and when i exprience something cool i like letting it out and telling everyone just like seeing an awesome movie and the next day talking to everyone how cool it was.

Anyways, thanks for reading the post


Emmanuil

la casa se quema, a turkey leg, beatboxing, and other fun things...

another meeting of the nogales team! tonight was so fun...we spent some time learning dramas that we could use for kids ministry. they did SUCH a good job. and seriously - most productive night i think we have ever had. haha...but so fun. they learned 3 different dramas that we could use as ministry - some with words that they'll have to learn in spanish ;) but some of them know some spanish and did really good job! and we'll keep working on it.
a few highlights...nate as the beat-boxing firefighter, isaac being stuck to a chair trying to eat a turkey leg, and the horror movie version of "la casa se quema".
:)
we also got our bible study books that we'll be going through - its called "the worshiping artist" by rory noland. i have had it for awhile now and i was trying to go through it and really just spend a lot of time on it, but i have been so bad at making time for it - SO now we're doing it with the team - so i have to...haha im excited to do it as a team. its a cool book about how to use art as worship and what it means to use our gifts and just a cool look at the different attributes of God.
so itll be fun to read through and see what God has for us all!
sarah also shared a devo. she read from Hebrews 10:19 - a verse that struck her in a new way this past week...a really cool word picture of God sprinkling our hearts clean of guilt and washing us with PURE water....so cool. that we can be cleansed and made new because of what Jesus did.
and we talked to the team about our new idea...and they were ok with it. haha...and so we are going forward, seeing what else God throws out there. so we just need need need to keep praying and listening for what God has...
and now we just need to start practicing and learning the new part, edit the music, get the scripts translated and recorded! thats all...;)
and work on getting cds made of the music from the show!
im just really excited for all of this knowing that God is just so in it all, He's been there, making His presence known every step of the way and its so so great.
so we just need to keep praying, stay focused on the purpose of this all and just see what it is He's calling us to!

watching God work...

ok.......so its been about a week since the show and we had our first after project missions meeting. it was so crazy to see the show happen and end, but so cool to remember that its not over! that that was only the beginning! :) we still have 2 months of prep time, learning some spanish worship songs, learning some spanish, finishing up details, working on the documentary, etc etc etc. i am really excited to start our bible study, too! its a really great book on how to use art as worship.
AND earlier this week i was fighting some hardcore spiritual warfare, i felt so crabby and tired and unmotivated and just anti-social, plus my wrist was hurting like crazy.......so i asked a friend to pray for me and later on that morning i started feeling really excited, just so much lighter...so cool. God just removed all of whatever it was that was weighing me down. and then i started getting a lot of ideas about the show.............so crazy.
and so sarah and i have been talking and praying about it, seeing where it is God wants to take the show, the story, all of it.
and there was an idea that God had brought up via someone who came and talked to us.....but it seemed way complicated and we had NO idea how to go about doing it.
so we spent the week trying to figure it out, but nothing......so we left it up to Him.
so this morning at church i was sitting in service and all of a sudden i had a thought about the show, and i wasnt even going to write it down because i didnt know if it would be important or not. but finally i did, and just started writing it down - and it just kept coming from there. i just wrote without even really thinking for like 15 min straight. and all of a sudden realized that i had walked through the whole show, incorporating this new, super confusing idea that we had......and all of a sudden it all just worked and made sense!!! i was in awe. God is totally writing this thing!!!!!!
its so crazy beautiful and im so excited to see it all come together. we havent told the team yet, obviously, and i wont say what the idea is cuz it will ruin the surprise...haha...but just know that God is so sovereign and so faithful.
He is so in charge of this thing and i am just SO excited to see all that He is working on.......
this morning the sermon was about how we see things happening, but dont always see the hands that are making it move. and that is so true - its so easy to think that we do everything on our own strength, but God is making sure that in this - we see His work. that we recognize that its him. and its amazing the peace that comes with it.
so keep us and the team, especially the ppl who will be finishing up/editing the music and dances before we leave in june!
its going to be a lot of work, but so so so worth it.
pray that we can all be motivated and excited and get it all done by His strength!
and new favorite verse......Isaiah 51:15...God is the one who stirs up the waves so that they roar. He is our amazing creator and He knows how everything was intended to work - so we need to continuously let Him lead us and get out of the way so He can do what He needs to do! :)

painting as worship....

so its been awhile since i have put anything on here because my wrist is still bothering me and i'm trying to let it rest....SO im putting up some pics of the paintings that were done during worship and i just pray that they bless you all as much as they do me! these were done as worship, in 20 min or less...God just took over and showed His creativity and i love it. so amazing how God uses different gifts...enjoy! and ill be writing more later!

by emmanuil morari


by sam nargan


by austin eckstrom


by jordan cross

introducing.....The Project:HOSEA team members

a video i made with the help of Emmanuil for footage and ideas...

an amazing night of worship in so many forms...

ok so i have been wanting to blog all about the show but i did something to my wrist and has been hurting A LOT...however at this moment i have a strap thing on it, and a heated rice bag or something like that so i pretty much cant feel it at all...haha. so i am taking advantage of the time!
SO...i blogged about the preshow, getting all ready...but the show was amazing.
the team did a fantastic job being flexible.
they really took a step in faith getting on that stage...trusting that God was going to take over...and He did.
from the very beginning, every step of this show has seemed crazy. i dont think theres been a single idea/decision/accomplishment that didnt seem crazy to us or the team or both...but every time we hesitated or doubted...God confirmed and encouraged. Somehow He gave us the peace we needed to get to the place where last night was possible.
so many prayers were answered yesterday it was incredible. ashley felt better and nailed her dance...she was very much being attacked by satan but God won! and she got to worship God with her dance. all of the dramas and dances went smoothly and brought the message of Jesus' love to life in a new way...and then the worship team came out and chelsea talked about the show and i was just in awe of the words God gave her...it was exactly what was on my heart and i just could not get into words. its such a powerful truth - that no matter how faithless we are, no matter how fleeting our love is...Jesus is always there. He says He is committed to loving us forever...and He means it. He will never get tired of waiting, or decide He likes something else better. He loves. plain and simple. and all He wants is for us to love Him back.
and then the painters came out...haha...slight moment of panic as the dropcloths were being brought out that we realized the canvases were still in the basement...:) but we got them, it was fine. but once they got out there...sarah and i were sitting backstage, just watching...and it was one of the most powerful things i have ever experienced. i mean - i LOVED the show that God put together, loved seeing the whole team come together and just get the message of Gods love out....but the last half hour, listening to the worship songs, watching the team play and sing and seeing the painters going...it was one of the most beautiful things. seeing God using His gifts. i mean, what an incredible thing!!! so much worshipping happening and God just moving through everyone in different ways...the same Holy Spirit, just all different aspects of Him. and i LOVED seeing the kids get to use their gifts. and then Emmanuil shared...and although satan tried to get to him earlier in the day, he took a step of faith and went out on stage and just shared his story and shared the gospel. it was an amazing message and God totally chose the words...amazing. and then Austin shared about a time that God spoke to him and how powerful it was. and in that God really helped me see how He not only gives us gifts....but He gives us gifts that we LOVE to use, that bring us SO much joy...and then calls us to use them. He wants us to know that joy and that we will only know it while we are following His calling and using His gifts.
what an amazing God we serve!!!!!!!
so thank you Austin and Emmanuil and Chelsea for sharing your heart and just being open. God spoke through you all so much.
and then Bethany shared a poem she wrote for this, and it was so beautiful. so powerful.
SO MANY different gifts that all come together to paint this incredible picture of the body of Christ and how intricately it works together to bring glory to Him.
it was such an amazing powerful moving night for me, and i hope for others....but God just opened my eyes to see His plan more clearly.
it was so so so humbling...realizing that these kids are so gifted in art beyond anything i could ever teach them. at this point - God is teaching them. all i can do is provide the opportunity for them to use them. and as long as that is my calling - i will do it. i will give God the time and opportunities to speak through me and use me in any way He sees fit. i have been so so so blessed by this and its so crazy...its ALL God. this process was SO amazing because every single step HAD to be God...and it was. and He did it. He is still faithful, he never let us down incredible.
i'll put up some pics later, but thank you for your prayers and support and for coming!!!

pre-show

its really really hard to believe that i am sitting at home...and the performance is over.
i can for sure say that God showed up tonight. as of last night...we'll just say it was not perfect, we didnt have music, and hadnt actually practiced the whole thing all the way through...
fun? yes. haha...but after running some errands, we showed up today and spent some time praying over the show, giving it to God and just getting focused on what He had for us...
then we got stuff set up, worked on the posters and final art stuff details. started hair and makeup...so fun. :) the girls were great, so gorgeous. the guys got out of it...no makeup for them...this time...;)
sarah got the masks ready and printed off programs.
then we ran through the whole thing with the sound (still not final versions of music...;))
it went well...a couple glitches, but nothing huge.
the worship team got together and practiced for the first time, with chelsea at the piano, shane on the guitar, and chelsea r and nate singing.
huge huge thank you to mark g on the sound, eric hedberg coming at the last minute to run powerpoint/video, andy lowe for finishing up the music and bringing it over, friends kevin, erika, breann, and sherrill for help setting up!!! so amazing.
got the gallery up and ready, all the posters...fixed chelsea k's a little ;)
got the final music at about 530?...ran through it one more time...
cut it off halfway through because ppl started showing up!
went down to the dungeon with the team...prayed it up!!! surrendered everything to God again, got focused...
and so the night began...

its here!

today is the today...we are trusting in what you say, God!!!
today He was telling me that today/tonight we are fighting a battle.
he has a mission he wants to accomplish and we need to pray pray pray through it.
tonight we find out what His plan has been all along!
here we go!

soooo close!

2 more days!!! crazy...yes. haha...its 1:08 am, and i am uploading video footage and pictures to my computer. putting finishing touches on stuff for saturday.
we had practice tonight, ran through things and we're getting there. is it perfect? no. is it totally finished? no. :)...but the thing is is that i am SO excited. i cant even explain the peace and excitement i am feeling. its so crazy that im not nervous even a little bit. sarah and i were talking and she is feeling the same thing. and the only explanation is God. He is so in charge of this thing...we are just along for the ride.
and its been so great...
please keep the team and the ppl planning to come on saturday in your prayers...that the team will remember everything, and the details will be finished and no one will get sick or hurt or anything. and that the ppl planning to come will not be kept away but that God will bring them and speak to them in the exact way that they need.
satan has not made much of this easy...he has made it very clear that he doesnt approve, so we need to be in hardcore prayer that God keeps him OUT of all of it over the next few days.
We got A LOT done tonight, and i have no doubt that it will all be fine and God will do his thing sat night...
but lately He has been laying on my heart to - as a team - sit down, each person, and figure out why they are doing this. why they are on the team, why they are in the show.
to find out if God is the reason or not...and if so - to keep seeking more and more.
and if not - to ask Him to get us to a point where He IS the reason.
because this is His thing...wholly and completely, and if we try to do this on anything other than His strength or ability...its not going to work. it just isnt.
and He brought Psalm 51 to mind last night..."create in me a clean heart....." an amazing prayer...that God will just take out all the flesh in us and pour Himself in so we can start new. and then experience Him in an amazing way.
pray that every team member can come to a place where God is in full control...that everything that they do on that stage just reflects God in a powerfully clear way.
that this art...this dance, drama, painting, poetry, etc, that every second of it is pure worship and powered by God.
pray that His Holy Spirit shows up in a big way.
so excited for saturday!!!!!!
see you there!

5 days till showtime

So I (Emmanuil) decided to write something. Although, I deeply love reading all of Jillians posts i thought i could show some perspective of the team.

So we're all leaving for the trip in June, and our first performance is this Saturday(as you all obviously know already). Austin is playing Jesus and Ashley the "girl" this time around, instead of me and Sam. The purpose if Jillian did not explain for this dual casting is for switching it up since we are going to do it like twice a day in Nogales. Another reason is because hopefully i will be filming a documentry at the time and will be busy with filming footage. (praying that a camera can be found and used on the trip) Anyway, so thats whats going down on the casting, with other character you will discover when you come watch us on Saturday. The dances(which is alot) is choregraphed by our soft slippered friend Austin and graceful Ashley. The dances have been pretty intense since they take up most of the show. (im hurt, i pulled my back muscle out, just letting you know) So people have been sore, have been tired, and we deserve a thank you to those two. Scripting is all to our leaders although, not too much speakind since we will be in Mexico. I usually love to help out with the story and the scripting, but this time its been difficult with all the crazy schedualing and time issues.

The music is all original (except for the guy dance) that was written and played by our very own, Chelsea Kimball. You all know her as the stylish dancing worship leader, you all see on most Sundays. A very talented, beautiful, amazing, funny, cool, kind, intelligent, humble, self-less, strog, young lady. (Allright a little overboard, but what would you expect from me?) Anyway, the show is worth coming to just because the music is totally awesome. Its not baised just because its from me either, ask anyone on the team and they would tell the same thing (no seriously!).

So the status for the show? well, insane is one word i could just say off the top of my head. I have no idea how its going to all get done, but i know we will pull it together on Saturday and God is gonna show that even though crazy things are going on in everyone's life, he's gonna make it all possible and its gonna happen, it will amaze us all. It will obviously take the best of us to pull this show off, especially in five days. I have absolute faith in our awesome leaders: Jillian and Sarah, even though we dont always give them the attention they need from us. I want to thank them for giving us, me the incredible opporotunity to participate in this show and trip. They are super stressed and they balance everything and find the time to individually help us in our personal lives. Although they are not professionals in what they do, they try their hardest to bring out and present the speacial talents each youth on the team has. They are really special people, and if your reading this give them a pat on the back next time you see them because they have done alot within the lives of the youth they influence.

So, to wrap it up, its five days and there is no doubt in my mind that on Saturday evening God will show up to work through us to make this a crazy awesome show.

Thanks for reading my scribbles,

Emmanuil

so blessed...

quick sentimental moment...:)
i am just feeling so blessed by God. just with Good Friday and Easter and spending time really looking at what Jesus did for us...that through it all, He stood by me. through every bad decision, every selfish motive, every angry word, everything...He was there. He never gave up...for 18 years He stood by me, just waiting, watching, protecting and hoping for the day when FINALLY i would stop and realize how much i needed Him.
and i am so unbelievably grateful that He was as faithful as He was...because He didnt give up, i can live. i dont have to live in fear. i dont have to go on hurting the ppl around me. i dont have to live my life subdued and cautious and so worried about what will happen to cause me to fall and break apart completely...why?
because i'm FREE!
free from everything the world taught me and engrained in me. because He never gave up.
how AMAZING is that???
He did that for all of us...He loves us so much!
I, you, all of us...OUR LIVES were worth MORE to Him than shame, being mocked, nails to the wrists and feet, a crown of thorns, a sword to the side and His own father turning His face away...
He went through with it because, to Him, we were worth it.
incredible.
and i feel SO blessed by this team. i think i have been so overwhelmed and busy with everything that i havent stopped to appreciate the truly amazing team God has put together.
i think i never stopped to realize how rare this kind of team is...so talented, so gifted, so passionate...SUCH an incredible, intricate picture of the body of Christ. i think one of the things that bring me closest to God is when I get to see someone find their gift...and then get a chance to try it out...and then find out how exciting and powerful and exhilerating it is to see God use His gifts for His glory. and then to see how the gifts fit together - how the idea is formed, then the music is written, then the dance is choreographed, then the dance is learned, etc. and it wouldnt happen without the entire body working together...and this team has given both sarah and i numerous opportunities to see that...so blessed.
i mean - i can say with 99% certainty...that i would NEVER have started this group without God. haha but i mean - who gets to be a part of a group like this? where do you get to experience the body of Christ like this?
i LOVE it. and i never would have found it on my own.
i love how well God knows us!!!
and i cannot thank God enough and i am so humbled that God would call me to any part of His plan, but then to one that just impacts my heart so fully.
i pray that i can remain as faithful to Him as He has been and always will be.
love easter and celebrating the AMAZING awesome incredible faithful surprising God that we serve.
hallelujah!

more practice...

today we had a long practice to runthrough as much of the upcoming show as we could.
we got pretty far - not perfect yet...but we still have a week...;)
good thing God's in charge here...no worries.
but today was good, the team did a fabulous job of staying with us...



well, mostly haha.
except for some sleepy dancers and 2 old men with hurt backs...
:)
but other than that it went really well. this team is so great and so gifted.
we finished learning a couple different scenes and worked on dances.
i hardly ever put pictures on here, so i am going to make this post mostly that. :) so you can see a little more of the team!


please keep praying praying praying that God stays in charge of every single detail going into this and that He just does His thing. so excited to see what comes of it!

The Project: Mexico Edition Week 7

t-minus 8 days until the show!
crazy...
i hope you are all planning to come!
Last night we had devo time outside...:) just loving this weather. its absolutely beautiful.
and i read through Isaiah 51:1-15 (i put this passage in an earlier post) and just had the team listen for things that stuck out to them. there is a TON of stuff in it and i just love how God's word speaks to people right where they are. its so personal and so powerful.
then we worked on a couple of scenes with the music :)
and i will just say that we are SO blessed with this team. the music Chelsea has put together is just incredible...its goes perfectly and is just so holy-spirit filled. i LOVE it, and could listen to it all the time. and the kids learn these things so fast. its beautiful and its SO great to see it all coming together.
Last sunday, i went to vespers at Bethel and about halfway through God started speaking to me about the show.
it was like all of a sudden i was watching the show happen and God was sitting next to me, pointing out things that needed to be changed or how things were supposed to look or be said...it was crazy. and all i could think was..."this thing is in 2 weeks, God...you cant just change it..." haha...but, turns out, He can. :)
and on monday the same thing happened when i was in my car, just on my way to class and all of a sudden it was like i was watching it happen. but this time in more detail. and so i had about 25 min til i had to be in class so in the parking lot at school i pulled out my notebook and wrote for like 15 min, details for the whole show, the scripts and words God was putting in my head, how things went, everything. i didnt even have time to think through anything...just wrote.
and then quick typed it up and sent it to sarah. and looking at it on wed with sarah and walking through it...it was incredible.
God changed scripts, rewrote things, added things, and looking at it - it is SO clear what sarah and i can do, and what God can do. all of a sudden it makes a LOT more sense, its clearer, has a more "to the point" message, its crazy.
He is making this incredibly, undeniably clear that this show, this night...is His. and nobody else's. He is claiming all of the glory for Himself and we wouldnt have it any other way.
so i am excited to see how it will all turn out...God is doing His thing.
He will complete it...and we dont have any say in the fact that He waited until the last second and is still finishing things up...we just need to listen and pay attention and follow.
so we will :)
how amazing that we have such a faithful God!

how far would you go?

yesterday i was listening to the radio and one of the "spots" where people come on and just share a short devo, hit me in a really huge way. the guy came on he talked about how lavishly the priests of Jesus' day lived.
how they had beautiful huge homes with private baths and they had jewelry and clothes and were held in very high regard by the people. they had everything they could want...
then Jesus came to the temple and turned the tables over and told them in no uncertain terms that this was NOT what they were supposed to be doing in the house of the Lord.
Matthew 21:13..."it is written, 'my house shall be called a house of prayer,' but you make it a den of robbers."
and even when Jesus then healed the people coming into the temple...all they heard was that they were being asked to give up their way of life.
so they killed Him.
crazy extreme measures, right? the guy on the radio then went on to ask - could we even imagine doing such a thing??? how could they have killed the man? i mean, we would NEVER go that far...
right?
if Jesus was standing in front of you right now and He said - give up your money, your comfort, your security, your status, your home, your job...everything. literally give it to me. what would our reaction be? really and truly?
how far would we go to hold onto what we have?
when the people plotted to bring Him to the cross...would we hate that its happening but stand on the sidelines and secretly be relieved that the problem is being solved so we wont have to lose anything?
would we just kill Him all over again?

this like 2 minutes of speaking on the radio hit me really hard. i have never looked at the death of Jesus from this perspective...
and i literally said wow - out loud, alone in my car. haha...but its a really really hard question to think about.
i cant pretend to know exactly what i would have done then.
but right now, with that thought in mind...i want - NEED - to know that Jesus is more important to me than life itself...that i would not allow Him to go the cross again. and my prayer is that if He isn't, if i'm not there...that God will search through me and take out whatever it is that would bring me to even hesitate to give up everything for Him at a moment's notice.
He is faithful to us to the very end...He will always be. i want to be faithful to Him. in everything, at all costs.
this good friday, my prayer is that we will surrender everything and allow Him, and not selfish desires or fear, to reign in every area of our lives.
that we will love Him with utter abandon.