I need that adventure, Its calling me...from the mountain top, side of the ocean, the dirt trail, the cool breeze, the deep drop, and the soft mist...a stillness comes and i know that this is what i was meant to do, a stillness of awe, a stillness where i can see Him...
- Emmanuil Morari
So E – a member of the team wrote this and I am stealing it cuz I read it and it just put me in a place where I remembered the moments where I have felt God asking me to do crazy things, and in the moment where I felt most overwhelmed, most doubtful…I just remember this peace falling over me and just having this moment with God where all I could feel and hear and think about was how close He felt and how I knew this was real and whatever He was saying at that moment – was going to happen, His way, and He would be there right next to me the whole way. ALIVE, for me, started in one of these moments
The first time I thought about ALIVE (well an art ministry) was one day during my quiet time in Argentina. I used to sit on this cement area leaning up against this like half wall. And He told me about the ministry one day. The idea for a ministry just came into my head and I just felt God say – that was me. Don’t brush it off – I am telling you to do this.
And it was just one of those moments and one of the first times I knew God was a real, close, personal God. SO close…
And another time was one I mentioned earlier – standing on the beach in Mar del Plata. And the quote above brought me back to that place…standing above the rocks, watching the waves crash and spray up, and just being above it all…and God asking me crazy things…but at the same time filling me with this powerful reassurance that I – shy, reserved, insecure, unmotivated me – could never have felt on my own when thinking that my future could look the way God was showing me at that moment.
and I can’t believe that I don’t think of those moments very often…they should be at the front of my mind ALL the time…close personal encounters with God…but they’re not. And that quote just reminded me of all that…
My prayer for this new year, for the team and for everyone…is that we will take the time to experience this. That we won’t just rush through things or try to get stuff done. But that we take the time to ask God what He wants, take time to listen and rest in the powerful life-changing stillness that comes with His presence. He wants to share…He wants us to follow…and He is willing to take the time to make sure we know His heart…but we have to listen.
I pray that this year is a year of new experiences…a year of finding out who God is and a year of God surprising us with His power, with His amazing love.
I pray that God romances you in a way you never imagined and that He gives you at least one of these moments…a moment in His presence…a moment of assurance…a moment of clarity, where the only thing that exists is you and Him…a moment of stillness of awe.
Blessings for 2010!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Find Your Way Back...
I found this song by Foolish Things and i love it because it gives a powerful picture of what God did for us, of how much Jesus loves us...and how important it is for us to do all we can to love Him and live for Him, no matter how hard it is sometimes...
It's going to crush you, inside and out,
It's going to break you, my son,
But - Jesus...
the choice is yours.
because I knowthe sin is theirs to pay, the debt is theirs to owe,
But we can make a way, close the gap their sin has made.
your blood could right their wrongs, and we could sing our song to call them...
"Find your way back to me,
I know your faults, but I was pierced so you'd be healed,
Turn your heart back to me,
I paid the cost 'cause I couldn't change the way I feel"
Can this cup be taken?
Dad I see, If I take their sin upon myself you'll turn your back on me,
I know they're guilty, but I love them too,
If my death can build a bridge for them...I'll bring them back to you
So I made a way,
Closed the gap your sin had made,
The blood can right your wrongs,
Would you listen to the song?
We're singing...
"Find your way back to me,
I know your faults, but I was pierced so you'd be healed,
Turn your heart back to me,
I paid the cost 'cause I couldn't change the way I feel"
It's going to crush you, inside and out,
It's going to break you, my son,
But - Jesus...
the choice is yours.
because I knowthe sin is theirs to pay, the debt is theirs to owe,
But we can make a way, close the gap their sin has made.
your blood could right their wrongs, and we could sing our song to call them...
"Find your way back to me,
I know your faults, but I was pierced so you'd be healed,
Turn your heart back to me,
I paid the cost 'cause I couldn't change the way I feel"
Can this cup be taken?
Dad I see, If I take their sin upon myself you'll turn your back on me,
I know they're guilty, but I love them too,
If my death can build a bridge for them...I'll bring them back to you
So I made a way,
Closed the gap your sin had made,
The blood can right your wrongs,
Would you listen to the song?
We're singing...
"Find your way back to me,
I know your faults, but I was pierced so you'd be healed,
Turn your heart back to me,
I paid the cost 'cause I couldn't change the way I feel"
Sunday, December 27, 2009
why we let God do things...
so like i wrote earlier - God put this together. He wrote the script (inspired by a Lecrae song), provided us the help and input we needed, He made sure we had the right equipment to film it to make sure it sounded and looked good. He helped the people memorize lines QUICK...He provided the creativity and the people and the time to edit it and within a week - it went from unwritten to written to filmed to edited and everything in between. CRAZY!
and that is how I know it wasn't us. it wasnt the actors or the filmers or the writers or whoever. it was God. absolutely...and it worked! and i WISH with everything in me that everyone could see who i was before i met God...that you could see that while i am creative and love art - i have NEVER had the desire to do anything with it, never actually done anything of my own accord, not motivated, not really talented...until He asked me to do it and brought the passion alive in me. i wish you could see that so you can FULLY see what God is doing. how CLEARLY He is working. but only i can truly know how much of this is Him, cuz i know what i can do...and i have seen Him take that and then just do His thing. and i LOVE it.
but the message of the video is powerful and it just really went with the message shared at edinbrook this morning.
that we cannot be complete in God, He cannot help us fully - until we are honest with Him. Until we acknowledge that we might not be perfect. that we might need some help.
and the great thing is...the GREATEST most overwhelming thing that God has really been drilling into my head lately...is that He will do all that He says. He'll do it. that God's word is real, and true and if He says it, if He says He will love us forever no matter what (which He does)...He will. if He says He'll forgive us and help us grow and use us for His master plan and not give up on us ever (which He does)...He will. and we never have to doubt that!!!
and i think the real gravity of that is finally hitting me...we never have to worry about Him leaving or quitting or getting angry...how amazing is that???
one of my favorite verses is in Isaiah...Isaiah 14:24. God saying - this is how i have said it will be...and so it will.
and hebrews chapter 6:13-20...God cannot lie. what He says is true and real. so we can rest in that. really rest in it.
that we can be real with Him, that we can tell Him the truth about us, that we can come to Him even when we're broken...because He does love us. Because that is true and it can't change.
so as you watch this...my prayer is that you allow God to speak, that the Holy Spirit meets you and that you really listen to what He has to say...and ask Him to show you what you havent told Him yet. what you havent talked about with Him yet...whatever that may be - let Him show you. and like Pastor Tom Gildow said this morning...ask God to show you what you really look like, in His eyes. cuz until we do that...until we allow Him to refine us to who He intended us to be...He can't use us. and we were meant for Him to use...that is the only place we'll find peace.
so thank you, God, for being our everything. for being more than we could ever ask for. for allowing us to be a part of your plan...it is a BEAUTIFUL thing...and can't wait to see what else is coming!
and that is how I know it wasn't us. it wasnt the actors or the filmers or the writers or whoever. it was God. absolutely...and it worked! and i WISH with everything in me that everyone could see who i was before i met God...that you could see that while i am creative and love art - i have NEVER had the desire to do anything with it, never actually done anything of my own accord, not motivated, not really talented...until He asked me to do it and brought the passion alive in me. i wish you could see that so you can FULLY see what God is doing. how CLEARLY He is working. but only i can truly know how much of this is Him, cuz i know what i can do...and i have seen Him take that and then just do His thing. and i LOVE it.
but the message of the video is powerful and it just really went with the message shared at edinbrook this morning.
that we cannot be complete in God, He cannot help us fully - until we are honest with Him. Until we acknowledge that we might not be perfect. that we might need some help.
and the great thing is...the GREATEST most overwhelming thing that God has really been drilling into my head lately...is that He will do all that He says. He'll do it. that God's word is real, and true and if He says it, if He says He will love us forever no matter what (which He does)...He will. if He says He'll forgive us and help us grow and use us for His master plan and not give up on us ever (which He does)...He will. and we never have to doubt that!!!
and i think the real gravity of that is finally hitting me...we never have to worry about Him leaving or quitting or getting angry...how amazing is that???
one of my favorite verses is in Isaiah...Isaiah 14:24. God saying - this is how i have said it will be...and so it will.
and hebrews chapter 6:13-20...God cannot lie. what He says is true and real. so we can rest in that. really rest in it.
that we can be real with Him, that we can tell Him the truth about us, that we can come to Him even when we're broken...because He does love us. Because that is true and it can't change.
so as you watch this...my prayer is that you allow God to speak, that the Holy Spirit meets you and that you really listen to what He has to say...and ask Him to show you what you havent told Him yet. what you havent talked about with Him yet...whatever that may be - let Him show you. and like Pastor Tom Gildow said this morning...ask God to show you what you really look like, in His eyes. cuz until we do that...until we allow Him to refine us to who He intended us to be...He can't use us. and we were meant for Him to use...that is the only place we'll find peace.
so thank you, God, for being our everything. for being more than we could ever ask for. for allowing us to be a part of your plan...it is a BEAUTIFUL thing...and can't wait to see what else is coming!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
christmas time...
one of the things that really was getting to me was that Christmas is now 3 days away and I just was not excited, not looking forward to it, nothing. I got shopping done, but was just not into it. Didn’t feel anything...even going to the christmas parties and celebrating with the team
And then a few days ago I was listening to Christmas music and it just hit me.
All the carols that we all hear and don’t always like…the lyrics are so powerful. SO powerful.
And I think it started to hit me…this is celebration time. and i just wanted to share these thoughts with you all.
This is the time to think about the people who were waiting for the Messiah to come. Waiting for hope that one day they could be saved and live in heaven, that God’s words would come true.
Just waiting, having faith, wondering…
And they did…and Jesus came.
Imagine how they felt! Just this incredible sigh of relief…He’s here. Finally…
And now…for us…we celebrate because we don’t have to wait. We don’t have to sit and wonder. We don’t have to guess when He will come…
Because He already did.
He already lived.
He already died.
He already saved us.
He already gave us the opportunity to live…
Its done, it happened.
JOY TO THE WORLD! The Lord is come…the Savior reigns!
Now…we can sleep, we can rest and sleep in a heavenly peace because everything is ok, all is calm.
We don’t have to worry anymore…He already did it!
So now we can be excited and thank God that He is faithful, thank Him because He has taken care of us…thank Him because He did it regardless of how we would react.
He has now put it in our hands…given us His gift.
And now…He waits on us…
And then a few days ago I was listening to Christmas music and it just hit me.
All the carols that we all hear and don’t always like…the lyrics are so powerful. SO powerful.
And I think it started to hit me…this is celebration time. and i just wanted to share these thoughts with you all.
This is the time to think about the people who were waiting for the Messiah to come. Waiting for hope that one day they could be saved and live in heaven, that God’s words would come true.
Just waiting, having faith, wondering…
And they did…and Jesus came.
Imagine how they felt! Just this incredible sigh of relief…He’s here. Finally…
And now…for us…we celebrate because we don’t have to wait. We don’t have to sit and wonder. We don’t have to guess when He will come…
Because He already did.
He already lived.
He already died.
He already saved us.
He already gave us the opportunity to live…
Its done, it happened.
JOY TO THE WORLD! The Lord is come…the Savior reigns!
Now…we can sleep, we can rest and sleep in a heavenly peace because everything is ok, all is calm.
We don’t have to worry anymore…He already did it!
So now we can be excited and thank God that He is faithful, thank Him because He has taken care of us…thank Him because He did it regardless of how we would react.
He has now put it in our hands…given us His gift.
And now…He waits on us…
God's control...
so i am just relaxing and resting in God's control right now...its a beautiful thing. :) really good...for some reason, the word "elation" comes to mind as to my mood right now...? i dont even know if i know what that means.
so we are putting together a video for this coming sunday's service at church. and its been such a crazy time and really - sarah and i have known what we want to do for awhile and somehow it really just snuck up on us...but God woke us up and motivated us just in time and in classic jillian/sarah style we met up one day and somehow it all came together.
and truly, God just wrote the whole thing. it came out, quick and God put all the words there and provided wisdom from a certain husband of sarah's to help us with the man's character's words...(who knew women tended to be more wordy?). but it all came together.
and thinking we had gone the easiest route with a video we weren't worried about putting it together. but for some reason...not something we would ever normally do...on sunday morning we decided to ask a guy who knows video about a camera question...and found out that we need someone to run sound, or it won't work.
and miracle upon all miracles - one of them was free the night we needed (HUGE thank you to Jon Meester!!!).
SO...God just had us ask, otherwise, it absolutely would not have worked. it just wouldn't have because we would never have known.
so He took care of that, and then we got the scripts to the 3 involved kind of late (if they read this, they're gonna say kind of?????...haha) not real long scripts, but still need to at least kind of memorize, so we were a little worried about that. i spend most of the day just PRAYING that God would take over the filming and just give them the right words and all of that.
and after a little confusion and figuring stuff out - we did it. and abbie, joseph and missy did an amazing job...love the talent in them. such a blessing to watch God work and use His gifts. and Emmanuil and Jon took over filming...and did a GREAT job. also love watching God provide ways to learn and teach His gifts. so great. and in not a lot of time, the video was filmed. and all we need to do now is edit!
so crazy how it all just WORKED. God is so in control. and its such a blessing to realize when He is working like this because that is when you KNOW that its God's. that He wants it to happen, that its His work, because He is making sure it gets done.
so beautiful and i just LOVE it.
so pray for us as we edit and finalize this thing...not a lot of time, but it'll be fine. i'm not worried because God is taking care of it! this is His project and i am just going to let Him take over...and show us His amazing creativity!
i love this team, i love seeing gifts used, i love seeing people see God work...
so we are putting together a video for this coming sunday's service at church. and its been such a crazy time and really - sarah and i have known what we want to do for awhile and somehow it really just snuck up on us...but God woke us up and motivated us just in time and in classic jillian/sarah style we met up one day and somehow it all came together.
and truly, God just wrote the whole thing. it came out, quick and God put all the words there and provided wisdom from a certain husband of sarah's to help us with the man's character's words...(who knew women tended to be more wordy?). but it all came together.
and thinking we had gone the easiest route with a video we weren't worried about putting it together. but for some reason...not something we would ever normally do...on sunday morning we decided to ask a guy who knows video about a camera question...and found out that we need someone to run sound, or it won't work.
and miracle upon all miracles - one of them was free the night we needed (HUGE thank you to Jon Meester!!!).
SO...God just had us ask, otherwise, it absolutely would not have worked. it just wouldn't have because we would never have known.
so He took care of that, and then we got the scripts to the 3 involved kind of late (if they read this, they're gonna say kind of?????...haha) not real long scripts, but still need to at least kind of memorize, so we were a little worried about that. i spend most of the day just PRAYING that God would take over the filming and just give them the right words and all of that.
and after a little confusion and figuring stuff out - we did it. and abbie, joseph and missy did an amazing job...love the talent in them. such a blessing to watch God work and use His gifts. and Emmanuil and Jon took over filming...and did a GREAT job. also love watching God provide ways to learn and teach His gifts. so great. and in not a lot of time, the video was filmed. and all we need to do now is edit!
so crazy how it all just WORKED. God is so in control. and its such a blessing to realize when He is working like this because that is when you KNOW that its God's. that He wants it to happen, that its His work, because He is making sure it gets done.
so beautiful and i just LOVE it.
so pray for us as we edit and finalize this thing...not a lot of time, but it'll be fine. i'm not worried because God is taking care of it! this is His project and i am just going to let Him take over...and show us His amazing creativity!
i love this team, i love seeing gifts used, i love seeing people see God work...
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