so up to this point, sarah and i have not participated in a lot of the dancing, basically because we dont do the choreography so it seems easier to let the choreographer do their thing, and we watch/critique/encourage :)...HOWEVER this weekend we helped to teach the dance that they have been learning from Austin because he wasnt able to be there for part of the practice on sunday. so we did more of the teaching/participating...and i will just say that i have a whole new appreciation and love for this team and their hard work...:)
i didnt notice it while we were there, but about an hour after i got home...my legs were NOT a huge fan of moving, especially down any stairs and are still sore now. and im sure its not just cuz we're old...;) haha...so i now have a whole new level of gratitude that they work so hard for so long on these dances! haha...so thank you team for staying with us and working so hard! you are so great!
and we're getting so so close to performance day!!!
God just keeps reassuring that He's got it all figured out........
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
almost there...
ok...just in absolute awe of God right now!!! i wont go into huge detail just yet because we are still working through stuff, but i am seeing so clearly how God not only has plans, but He sees them through to the very end. He always will. how amazing is that??? that we can have the peace of knowing that HE WILL SEE HIS PLAN THROUGH, EVERY SINGLE DETAIL TO THE VERY END OF IT. this show is less than 2 weeks away...if you could see this thing through our eyes...you might be tempted to freak out a little bit...haha however, God is MOVING like crazy. He is putting us in a position where it HAS to be Him who does this. and whats greater - He is providing a peace that this WILL all come together...in a way where only He will be glorified. i write this incredibly vague, kind of crazy sounding post to ask you to pray. pray that satan has no part in any of the preparations from here on out, pray that the team and sarah and i as leaders can stay focused on God, pray that we can have energy and drive to do this, pray that every detail falls into place...and most of all pray that God continues to make this His very own right in front of our eyes.
i am so unbelievably excited to see what He is planning.......
i am so unbelievably excited to see what He is planning.......
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Isaiah 51
God has had me read this section of scripture over and over for the past week or so, and every time i get something new out of it. I feel like He is speaking to me about the show and the trip and all of it through this passage so much and i just wanted to share it. i cant even say what exactly i am getting out of it because i think it would only make sense to me...but i will say just read it and ask Him to speak through it. so much good and powerful stuff in it!
the most recent part He has made stand out is at the end - starting at v.12, its just God reminding us who He is. He is the one in charge...He can do anything He wants. Including put together a team and a show in a really short amount of time on limited practice, and create a show out of it...;) but really - HE CAN. and SO many times over the past few months God has said to me...
"the bigger and more impossible this gets...the more I can be seen"
and who are we to deny God that? :) so here we are, two weeks before our first performance...trusting God for every single piece of it. trusting the very same God who stirs up the waves and makes them roar...
this should not be happening, it shouldn't be coming together, it shouldnt be working...its crazy. absolutely crazy.
but whats crazier...is that it IS.
so we will see you all on April 10th at 7pm. ready to see why God has called us to this place and time in this way...
keep all of this in your prayers and things are being learned, scripts being memorized and final pieces being put in place...
1"Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness, you who seek the LORD, look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the quarry from which you were dug. 2Look to Abraham your father and to Sarah who bore you; for he was but one when I called him, that I might bless him and multiply him. 3For the LORD comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places
and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song. 4 "Give attention to me, my people, and give ear to me, my nation; for a law will go out from me, and I will set my justice for a light to the peoples.5 My righteousness draws near, my salvation has gone out,and my arms will judge the peoples; the coastlands hope for me, and for my arm they wait. 6 Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth beneath; for the heavens vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment and they who dwell in it will die in like manner; but my salvation will be forever, and my righteousness will never be dismayed. 7 "Listen to me, you who know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my law; fear not the reproach of man, nor be dismayed at their revilings. 8 For the moth will eat them up like a garment, and the worm will eat them like wool; but my righteousness will be forever, and my salvation to all generations." 9 Awake, awake, put on strength, O arm of the LORD; awake, as in days of old the generations of long ago. Was it not you who cut Rahab in pieces, who pierced the dragon? 10 Was it not you who dried up the sea, the waters of the great deep, who made the depths of the sea a way for the redeemed to pass over? 11 And the ransomed of the LORD shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. 12"I, I am he who comforts you; who are you that you are afraid of man who dies, of the son of man who is made like grass, 13and have forgotten the LORD, your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, and you fear continually all the day because of the wrath of the oppressor,
when he sets himself to destroy? And where is the wrath of the oppressor? 14 He who is bowed down shall speedily be released; he shall not die and go down to the pit, neither shall his bread be lacking. 15I am the LORD your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—
the LORD of hosts is his name.
the most recent part He has made stand out is at the end - starting at v.12, its just God reminding us who He is. He is the one in charge...He can do anything He wants. Including put together a team and a show in a really short amount of time on limited practice, and create a show out of it...;) but really - HE CAN. and SO many times over the past few months God has said to me...
"the bigger and more impossible this gets...the more I can be seen"
and who are we to deny God that? :) so here we are, two weeks before our first performance...trusting God for every single piece of it. trusting the very same God who stirs up the waves and makes them roar...
this should not be happening, it shouldn't be coming together, it shouldnt be working...its crazy. absolutely crazy.
but whats crazier...is that it IS.
so we will see you all on April 10th at 7pm. ready to see why God has called us to this place and time in this way...
keep all of this in your prayers and things are being learned, scripts being memorized and final pieces being put in place...
1"Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness, you who seek the LORD, look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the quarry from which you were dug. 2Look to Abraham your father and to Sarah who bore you; for he was but one when I called him, that I might bless him and multiply him. 3For the LORD comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places
and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song. 4 "Give attention to me, my people, and give ear to me, my nation; for a law will go out from me, and I will set my justice for a light to the peoples.5 My righteousness draws near, my salvation has gone out,and my arms will judge the peoples; the coastlands hope for me, and for my arm they wait. 6 Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth beneath; for the heavens vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment and they who dwell in it will die in like manner; but my salvation will be forever, and my righteousness will never be dismayed. 7 "Listen to me, you who know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my law; fear not the reproach of man, nor be dismayed at their revilings. 8 For the moth will eat them up like a garment, and the worm will eat them like wool; but my righteousness will be forever, and my salvation to all generations." 9 Awake, awake, put on strength, O arm of the LORD; awake, as in days of old the generations of long ago. Was it not you who cut Rahab in pieces, who pierced the dragon? 10 Was it not you who dried up the sea, the waters of the great deep, who made the depths of the sea a way for the redeemed to pass over? 11 And the ransomed of the LORD shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. 12"I, I am he who comforts you; who are you that you are afraid of man who dies, of the son of man who is made like grass, 13and have forgotten the LORD, your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, and you fear continually all the day because of the wrath of the oppressor,
when he sets himself to destroy? And where is the wrath of the oppressor? 14 He who is bowed down shall speedily be released; he shall not die and go down to the pit, neither shall his bread be lacking. 15I am the LORD your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—
the LORD of hosts is his name.
The Project: Mexico Edition Week 6
i cant believe its week 6...it came SO fast, yet i feel like we have been working on it forever...haha so fun though. my life has been OVERTAKEN by this project and i love it. i feel so so blessed by this team and this opportunity. we have been having LOTS of practices and the team is being so great...very flexible. its A LOT of work, but it is finally all starting to come together. and now working on it with the music that Chelsea is writing...wow. seriously, i am in awe of what He is putting together. God is good. :) just loving His creativity and really just watching Him work. There is NO way this would all come together in this amount of time without Him. there really is just no way.
and looking at it, looking at our timeline...not going to lie, a part of me wants to freak out and be terrified. but then as soon as that thought comes in, a huger part of me is filled with this incredible peace of knowing that it will happen. that it will be finished and God will take care of it all. how great is that? haha.. imagine if we didnt have that peace ever in life? i know i would have gone completely crazy by now. so lets just take a second and PRAISE THE LORD that He takes the time to give us peace.
so we just need to keep praying that satan is kept out and we can keep God in charge. :)
we finished up choreographing one of the dances today! Austin put it together and has been working so hard on it for a long time...and we finally finished it.
we'll finish teaching it tomorrow - but the team has been so great and while some of them have never danced before - they are learning it and doing an amazing job. and we have spent HOURS on this...haha. so praise God that we are seeing it come together!
the dance involves the whole team and creates a picture of the girl being surrounded by the world trying to grab her attention, and how easy it is to get caught up in what is all around us instead of staying right next to Jesus...
and how easy that is!!! there is so much going on everywhere! He just wants us to hang on, to stay by Him, look to Him for everything. why is that so hard?
my prayer for me and for the team and all of us is that we can be aware of what we are doing and where God is at all times...so that He can be our strength and our joy and our peace. that we dont get distracted. that we can keep fighting to follow Him in everything He calls us to. and be filled with the passion and love for Him to bring us closer and closer to Him all the time.
Friday, March 19, 2010
THE PROJECT: HOSEA
ok...we are OFFICIAL.
April 10th...put it on your calendar!
7pm at Edinbrook Church.
we are putting on our show - The Project:Hosea as a fundraiser for the trip.
it is a story of God's love, looking at how unconditional and how personal it is, inspired by the book of Hosea. bring your friends and family - it would be a great thing to invite people to!
no cost to get in, but we will be taking a free will offering that will go towards the trip!
we are so excited about what God is doing and curious at the same time to see what it is that satan is trying so hard to keep us from! ;)
so come and support us and see what we have been working on!
and keep this whole thing and the team in your prayers!!!!!
i have no doubt that God is in charge of every detail and that it will get done, but its coming up soon, so just pray that satan does not have any place in any of this!
see you all in April!
The Project: Mexico Edition Week 5
onto week 5! last night was dance practice...:) we asked Ashley Hart to choreograph a dance/drama to open up the show as the first scene, giving her some guidelines and music by Chelsea Kimball (beautiful song...love it). and she did an amazing job! both choreographing and teaching. she's an awesome girl with a willing heart. we didnt get all the way through it yet, but its going great. sarah and i are learning it with them, and yes we are all basically professionals and learned it right away, no trouble at all. ;) i wish...haha. for me personally, if there is something i know i am not really gifted in, its dance. BUT luckily our team is incredibly talented and open to trying new things! they are learning and im excited to see it all come together.
and i love seeing members of the team come together and offer ideas and suggestions and then see the final product come out of it. such a blessing to see the body of Christ working together the way it is designed to.
but the night did not go 100% unaffected by the enemy...we got there before it all started and were working with Ashley to get some details worked out for the dance we were going to teach...and she had forgotten her binder, and then as she was going to dance, completely forgot what she had planned.
NOT good...so we stopped and prayed and just commanded satan out of our practice and prayed that God would guard our minds and ideas and all of it and allow us to teach and speak and just keep satan out...and He did. Praise God! it was a great practice and we didnt have any trouble speaking at all!!!
something God has been speaking me to about is how we fight the enemy. and realizing that this show we are being called to put together...is all about God's love. and everyone that sees this show, will hear the message that "God loves you, God is always with you, He will never give up on you..." and from that moment on...satan can no longer use that lie in their lives. He can no longer say "no one loves you, you're alone, you have nobody..." he cant. that lie has been broken and has lost its power. because now they have heard differently.
we, as christians, are God's weapon. and by learning and practicing we are being sharpened and fine tuned...and then when the time comes - God will speak His message through this show and satan has to just sit by and watch. watch all his hard work be nullified, watch what he worked so hard for just slip away.
his walls will be cracked and weakened.
and while he can try to get in the way...he can't stop it.
God's gifts and callings are so much more than talents. when we allow Him to use them through us, speaking and spreading life into the world...they are power.
so my prayer is that we wont even let satan have any sort of foothold. that we can stare him down and make him realize that he has no power over this team or this show and that we can fight. stay focused on God and what He has planned.
and i love seeing members of the team come together and offer ideas and suggestions and then see the final product come out of it. such a blessing to see the body of Christ working together the way it is designed to.
but the night did not go 100% unaffected by the enemy...we got there before it all started and were working with Ashley to get some details worked out for the dance we were going to teach...and she had forgotten her binder, and then as she was going to dance, completely forgot what she had planned.
NOT good...so we stopped and prayed and just commanded satan out of our practice and prayed that God would guard our minds and ideas and all of it and allow us to teach and speak and just keep satan out...and He did. Praise God! it was a great practice and we didnt have any trouble speaking at all!!!
something God has been speaking me to about is how we fight the enemy. and realizing that this show we are being called to put together...is all about God's love. and everyone that sees this show, will hear the message that "God loves you, God is always with you, He will never give up on you..." and from that moment on...satan can no longer use that lie in their lives. He can no longer say "no one loves you, you're alone, you have nobody..." he cant. that lie has been broken and has lost its power. because now they have heard differently.
we, as christians, are God's weapon. and by learning and practicing we are being sharpened and fine tuned...and then when the time comes - God will speak His message through this show and satan has to just sit by and watch. watch all his hard work be nullified, watch what he worked so hard for just slip away.
his walls will be cracked and weakened.
and while he can try to get in the way...he can't stop it.
God's gifts and callings are so much more than talents. when we allow Him to use them through us, speaking and spreading life into the world...they are power.
so my prayer is that we wont even let satan have any sort of foothold. that we can stare him down and make him realize that he has no power over this team or this show and that we can fight. stay focused on God and what He has planned.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
why is it easier to claim death instead of life?
a quick thing going off of yesterday's post...God gave me some clarity on things that weren't so clear yesterday. He is just pouring new truths in...but last night someone brought up Hosea 13:6...and then posed the question -
"why is it easier to claim death than life?"
and i was like wow, i just spent the morning thinking about that!
and i just thought about why we allow ourselves to be hurt by everything else before we even try His way.
...and she read the verse mentioned above that says...
"but when they grazed, they became full,
they were filled, and their heart was lifted up,
therefore they forgot about me."
(in another version it says they became proud, therefore they forgot about me)
but wow. also - God has been showing me that He IS and always will be trustworthy.
and God put that question on my heart again...why is it easier to claim death instead of life?
...because sometimes it is easier to believe and trust in something that we have earned ourselves, in something that we feel we have control over...even if it will disappoint us.
because its easier to be disappointed by ourselves than by God.
We dont test Him because we become afraid that He will fail...and that would shake everything we have to believe in.
Like the verse says, we go to God for help, He lifts us up, we feel good and gain back our confidence...and we forget about Him. We forget He is the very one who gave it back to us.
We dont want to rely on Him because its scary.
does that resonate with anyone? this is something i never thought about before, but was definitely true for me for a long time.
Satan tried to get to me yesterday, tried to plant doubts in me that the things God has told me aren't real, arent true.
but God used it to show me that all satan can do is plant doubts. he cannot change God's plan. he can make us THINK God is not trustworthy, but he CANNOT MAKE GOD UNTRUSTWORTHY.
how powerful is that??? nothing can change who God is!!!
someone gave me Psalm 91 to read yesterday and here is a part that just instilled a peace in me...
"His faithfulness is a shield..."
nothing is going to penetrate or get past that shield...because He is faithful.
so we can trust Him, we can go to Him and not have to be afraid of ever being disappointed by God...He calls us to a whole perfect holy peaceful life...one that only He can give. Dont be afraid to trust Him, Dont settle for anything less.
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Project: Mexico Edition Week 4
This week, the scene we worked on illustrates how we can love the "things" of this world more than we love God.
coming from the picture painted in Hosea, a harsh but effective picture, from chapter 2:5-8...and later in chapter 9, God talking about how we love the things the world gives us...we seek them and try so hard to get to them...but God says while we will pursue them...we will never overtake them. never. and we will eventually realize that God is the one who gives us everything we want and need in the first place. and we could have avoided all the pain from the beginning. we could have spared GOD the pain of having to watch us walk away from Him over and over again.
the world makes money and relationships and jewelry and houses and fame look SO good, so satsifying...and while they are not necessarily bad things...when we choose either them or the pursuit of them OVER God...that is when it is bad.
When i read Hosea, i get this picture of God saying "i offer you peace, joy, love, satisfaction, life, dreams - everything you could ever want...its right here for the taking. but you go everywhere else to find it...what more can i do? why don't you want me?" and then because He has chosen to give us the choice...He has to sit and watch as we struggle and seek and fall and hurt and break - and all the while KNOWING that it could have all been avoided. knowing that no matter how much we struggle and break and hurt, unless we go to Him for what we are looking for - its all in vain. and it will be until we go to Him.
In Hosea, the picture He uses is the prostitute who has a faithful husband who provides everything she needs...and instead of staying with Him and just enjoying that - she sees everything else and goes after it. and even though it hurts her husband, she only sees the "things", the prostitutes wages (9:1). she spends her time seeking after more and more, and all the while her husband has to watch, knowing he committed his life to her...and she doesnt care. and if she does, its not enough to put aside her own desires.
as i am writing this, God is just bringing tears to my eyes - and if you know me, you know i dont cry easily - but knowing that i do this and knowing that it breaks God's heart like its the first time, every time...He gave everything for us. His Son died for us...what do we do with that? does knowing that impact us enough to drop everything and turn our focus to Him once and for all?
it should!
so why doesnt it? why can i choose, knowingly, over and over again to put "things" whether it be time, money, security, love, pride or so many other things before Him in my life?
why can i know what it will do to Him and not care enough to stop?!?
this is the message God has put together. this is what God is trying to speak through us in this show and on this trip.
so whether He gets it out in front of a group or on this blog...He will not be silenced. praise Him for that!!!
He is asking these questions...and they will not go away. i PRAY that they dont go away. i PRAY that they stay stirred up until they affect real change.
in me as well as you, and that together, as the body of Christ, as His betrothed...that we can encourage and pray with each other to choose Him. to fall in love with Him in a way that is forever, that He is all that matters.
He already has everything we need ready for us...why are we looking everywhere else? do we have to be hurt by everything BUT Him in order to go to Him?
something i shared with the team last night...i can keep going forward, keep trusting Him in the crazy things for one reason.
He hasnt failed me yet. He's gotten me through things i never should have...and He hasn't failed me yet.
so lets drop everything. lets stop looking everywhere else and focus on God. Lets find out what He has and let Him satisfy us...and if we end up unsatisfied or unhappy - then we can go elsewhere. but see what He has, really try what He is offering, live the words of Deut 6:4-5 and LOVE the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might...
and just see what happens.
i really believe that we will not ever have to look elsewhere ever again...
coming from the picture painted in Hosea, a harsh but effective picture, from chapter 2:5-8...and later in chapter 9, God talking about how we love the things the world gives us...we seek them and try so hard to get to them...but God says while we will pursue them...we will never overtake them. never. and we will eventually realize that God is the one who gives us everything we want and need in the first place. and we could have avoided all the pain from the beginning. we could have spared GOD the pain of having to watch us walk away from Him over and over again.
the world makes money and relationships and jewelry and houses and fame look SO good, so satsifying...and while they are not necessarily bad things...when we choose either them or the pursuit of them OVER God...that is when it is bad.
When i read Hosea, i get this picture of God saying "i offer you peace, joy, love, satisfaction, life, dreams - everything you could ever want...its right here for the taking. but you go everywhere else to find it...what more can i do? why don't you want me?" and then because He has chosen to give us the choice...He has to sit and watch as we struggle and seek and fall and hurt and break - and all the while KNOWING that it could have all been avoided. knowing that no matter how much we struggle and break and hurt, unless we go to Him for what we are looking for - its all in vain. and it will be until we go to Him.
In Hosea, the picture He uses is the prostitute who has a faithful husband who provides everything she needs...and instead of staying with Him and just enjoying that - she sees everything else and goes after it. and even though it hurts her husband, she only sees the "things", the prostitutes wages (9:1). she spends her time seeking after more and more, and all the while her husband has to watch, knowing he committed his life to her...and she doesnt care. and if she does, its not enough to put aside her own desires.
as i am writing this, God is just bringing tears to my eyes - and if you know me, you know i dont cry easily - but knowing that i do this and knowing that it breaks God's heart like its the first time, every time...He gave everything for us. His Son died for us...what do we do with that? does knowing that impact us enough to drop everything and turn our focus to Him once and for all?
it should!
so why doesnt it? why can i choose, knowingly, over and over again to put "things" whether it be time, money, security, love, pride or so many other things before Him in my life?
why can i know what it will do to Him and not care enough to stop?!?
this is the message God has put together. this is what God is trying to speak through us in this show and on this trip.
so whether He gets it out in front of a group or on this blog...He will not be silenced. praise Him for that!!!
He is asking these questions...and they will not go away. i PRAY that they dont go away. i PRAY that they stay stirred up until they affect real change.
in me as well as you, and that together, as the body of Christ, as His betrothed...that we can encourage and pray with each other to choose Him. to fall in love with Him in a way that is forever, that He is all that matters.
He already has everything we need ready for us...why are we looking everywhere else? do we have to be hurt by everything BUT Him in order to go to Him?
something i shared with the team last night...i can keep going forward, keep trusting Him in the crazy things for one reason.
He hasnt failed me yet. He's gotten me through things i never should have...and He hasn't failed me yet.
so lets drop everything. lets stop looking everywhere else and focus on God. Lets find out what He has and let Him satisfy us...and if we end up unsatisfied or unhappy - then we can go elsewhere. but see what He has, really try what He is offering, live the words of Deut 6:4-5 and LOVE the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might...
and just see what happens.
i really believe that we will not ever have to look elsewhere ever again...
time to fight...
i have come to know Satan as many things but overall, the one who will do anything to tear God's plan apart...i have experienced his attacks numerous times, both blatant and subtle But he has come up with a new tactic that he has never used on me before. Last week, sarah and i got in front of the group to explain the plans for the night - and nothing came out. nothing. there was nothing in our heads. so we prayed, and God brought it back...i thought it was just because we were not very prepared, which is part of it. but last night, we got up, i prepared. i prayed through the words, the verses, spent time on it beforehand, felt really good about it. got in front of the group...ready. and sarah began to read, and just started tripping over the words. she gave me the bible...i started to read and the SAME thing happened. the kids' focus is broken at this point and i just felt this pull, like God was saying "dont lose me here, keep pushing through, keep going..." and so i kept reading, we kept going...and got through it. praying through it in my head, we got it all out. and i pray that God got His message across. but then we got ready to start teaching...and i was looking through all my documents, looking for the details we had written out and couldnt find them ANYWHERE. so confused...but we got through it, remembered most of it and figured out the rest. so praise God, He is always there, ready for when we ask for help. and it wasnt until this morning that i remembered that we had written everything out in my notebook, which was there with us all night. and it never even entered my mind once, during the whole night...not once.
now...if you dont know me - you are thinking, well, that was dumb. ha - and it SOUNDS that way, but i have never ever ever gotten up in front of people to talk and NOTHING came out, my mind being completely blank...and i have never had so much trouble reading. i can be disorganized i will admit, extremely so at times, but not to the point where i forget where i write stuff down and it doesnt occur to me where i did. my memory and mind just dont work that way. things always come back to me. and i can't ignore the fact that the only times this ever has happened is when we are up in front of the team, trying to get this all together. Satan doesnt want this. He has made that very clear, and he has proved how sneaky and creative he can be...working in new ways all the time, catching us off guard. but i thank our LORD who is always watching, waking us up to see what Satan is doing so that we can pray against it, so we can fight. and i am so grateful that His message is not dependent on me...or on Sarah, or on anyone but Him. we're just tools, satan can mess with the tools, but he cannot mess up God. so please keep us in your prayers that Satan will not have any power or influence in this. that God will protect our minds and memories and that satan will not affect the way that we speak - or what the team hears. that Gods message and words will overcome and outshine anything that satan tries to do!!!
satan has declared war...he has caused me to wake up and be alert. and all this means for us now is that its time to fight.
now...if you dont know me - you are thinking, well, that was dumb. ha - and it SOUNDS that way, but i have never ever ever gotten up in front of people to talk and NOTHING came out, my mind being completely blank...and i have never had so much trouble reading. i can be disorganized i will admit, extremely so at times, but not to the point where i forget where i write stuff down and it doesnt occur to me where i did. my memory and mind just dont work that way. things always come back to me. and i can't ignore the fact that the only times this ever has happened is when we are up in front of the team, trying to get this all together. Satan doesnt want this. He has made that very clear, and he has proved how sneaky and creative he can be...working in new ways all the time, catching us off guard. but i thank our LORD who is always watching, waking us up to see what Satan is doing so that we can pray against it, so we can fight. and i am so grateful that His message is not dependent on me...or on Sarah, or on anyone but Him. we're just tools, satan can mess with the tools, but he cannot mess up God. so please keep us in your prayers that Satan will not have any power or influence in this. that God will protect our minds and memories and that satan will not affect the way that we speak - or what the team hears. that Gods message and words will overcome and outshine anything that satan tries to do!!!
satan has declared war...he has caused me to wake up and be alert. and all this means for us now is that its time to fight.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
complete surrender...
this morning at Edinbrook, we had an awesome worship time and God was just really speaking to me. one of the things i struggle with is putting what is in my head and on my heart into words that make sense to other people, and God has been helping me and working with me in that. and i am learning to listen to what He is saying and ask for help instead of just rushing through things, relying on my own abilities. this morning God just put it on my heart to write it all down so i would remember it. so i did, and im so glad that i listened! haha...and i just want to share. i was hit with this super humbling thought that while we were still sinners, before we ever thought about making a decision to follow Him - Jesus went to the cross and died for us...and in that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom, giving us open access to the throneroom; open access to the Holy Spirit. and because of that we have the opportunity to to receive His power and in allowing Him to move through us and have complete, ultimate reign in us - the promise is that He will heal us, He will free us from what holds us captive, He will lead us...and we will do greater things than even Jesus did.
amazing.
and even more humbling is realizing that He doesnt need us. if we dont worship Him, it will not change who God is. He is God regardless. but He WANTS us to be a part of all that He is doing. a crazy reality. He wants us.
and Pastor Ivan spoke this morning on surrender. and brought up the passage in Mark 14 when Jesus goes to pray. He asks God that if possible, the hour would just pass away. Jesus...is before His father, and he addresses Him as "Abba", an incredibly personal name and it just paints this incredible picture of Jesus. He is not before God trying to impress Him, not trying to look strong or try harder. instead Jesus is before Him- open, honest, vulnerable...admitting to His father that He is scared, He doesnt want what is coming...but He is completely surrendered to God's will. He says later on - if this can happen without me having to go through this...please do, but if not- your will be done.
and that is one of the glimpses of Jesus that impacts me the most. how powerfully He loves us and how completely surrendered He is to His Father's will.
and it hit me how we really should strive to imitate this aspect of Jesus...and i thought of the team when God helped me see this, realizing that, like Jesus, when we are struggling or when we dont feel comfortable with something, instead of just suffering through it and pretending like we are so talented and so gifted...we need to be open. and ask for help. come before our Abba and admit that we are weak and scared and allow Him to do the work through us so that people can see Him all the more clearly. we need to surrender our attempts and just let Him work.
He doesnt want us to suffer through life, He doesnt want us to constantly be struggling to impress Him...He doesnt want us to be fake...he wants us to be real. He suffers with us as we struggle by our own power, just waiting and hoping for the moment when we finally come to Him and He can take our burdens and show us the life He created us for.
i pray that we can remember to be real with our Abba. and come to Him completely surrendered.
amazing.
and even more humbling is realizing that He doesnt need us. if we dont worship Him, it will not change who God is. He is God regardless. but He WANTS us to be a part of all that He is doing. a crazy reality. He wants us.
and Pastor Ivan spoke this morning on surrender. and brought up the passage in Mark 14 when Jesus goes to pray. He asks God that if possible, the hour would just pass away. Jesus...is before His father, and he addresses Him as "Abba", an incredibly personal name and it just paints this incredible picture of Jesus. He is not before God trying to impress Him, not trying to look strong or try harder. instead Jesus is before Him- open, honest, vulnerable...admitting to His father that He is scared, He doesnt want what is coming...but He is completely surrendered to God's will. He says later on - if this can happen without me having to go through this...please do, but if not- your will be done.
and that is one of the glimpses of Jesus that impacts me the most. how powerfully He loves us and how completely surrendered He is to His Father's will.
and it hit me how we really should strive to imitate this aspect of Jesus...and i thought of the team when God helped me see this, realizing that, like Jesus, when we are struggling or when we dont feel comfortable with something, instead of just suffering through it and pretending like we are so talented and so gifted...we need to be open. and ask for help. come before our Abba and admit that we are weak and scared and allow Him to do the work through us so that people can see Him all the more clearly. we need to surrender our attempts and just let Him work.
He doesnt want us to suffer through life, He doesnt want us to constantly be struggling to impress Him...He doesnt want us to be fake...he wants us to be real. He suffers with us as we struggle by our own power, just waiting and hoping for the moment when we finally come to Him and He can take our burdens and show us the life He created us for.
i pray that we can remember to be real with our Abba. and come to Him completely surrendered.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The Project: Mexico Edition Week 3
i sat down to blog yesterday and could not for the life of me get any of my thoughts to make sense. so i just stopped...haha. and today, God reminded me AGAIN (there has been a theme forming over the week) of the incredible contrast between what I can do and what God can do. sometimes i forget that the reason that i am ever able to make any sense is because God is doing it...not because i am so smart or so wise. so i am just so grateful for the reminder...i needed it.
this lesson began on thursday for me. and i remembered what happens when i dont take the time to talk to God and prepare and really pray before i spend any time speaking in front of people. it is not a pretty thing.
God is truly the sole reason i am doing what i am today...and i hate that i forget that sometimes - but so grateful that He takes the time to wake me up and remind me.
On Thursday we had part of the team there...we're working on a few scenes at a time - trying to be highly productive. :)
one of the scenes is a look at how even though God is there to help us, He doesnt always show up in the way we want Him to. and when we get distracted by our own ideas, we feel frustrated or angry or abandoned - even though He is right there, just wanting so badly to help. John 6 gives a picture of how God doesn't always work the way we expect...like when Jesus came - people had an idea of who Jesus would be, and He did not match it. another place in scripture where expectations threw people off is in Exodus, with the Israelites when they got past the red sea, going to the promised land - and then ended up in the desert, eating manna. still in God's hand - but it was not what they had expected and it threw them off and they started looking elsewhere for what they wanted.
The other scene we worked on gives a picture of how what we think we want, what we think looks good - isn't always what it seems. sometimes the world makes things look so good and so available so we dont stop to consider that maybe God knows something we dont. we just see what is right in front of us and that it looks like fun for the moment...so that is what we focus on, but so many times God watches and tries to get our attention, but because we want what we want, we dont look to see what He is trying to say and more often than not, learn the hard way that God really does know what is best.
He sees the WHOLE picture and we just need to remember that. the bible tells the story of David - when he saw Bathsheba, something he thought he wanted, something that was right in front of him, available...and he went after it. and altough it seemed ideal, seemed like it would make him happy, if you have read the story, you know it doesnt end well. it just leads to MORE difficulty. and we look at him and think how weak he is...but we all fall victim to the idea of quick happiness, easy satisfaction despite the deafening warning bells God has going off in our heads every time. its so easy to get distracted.
easier said than done to stay focused, but lucky for us - God doesnt ever stop trying to get our attention. He never stops watching over us, paying attention. Never. amazing, isnt it?
the scenes came together quickly and better than we thought they would. the girls did an amazing job of being the mean girls...haha...so cute. ;) and jordan did a great job of being a heartbreaker...:) and the people playing Jesus and the girl are learning quickly and my prayer for all of them is that God will create and portray the characters the way He wants and that they will give Him room to move through them to put this whole story together.
so i am learning to remember how important it is to keep the focus on God, stay in prayer and remember that none of this is me...its ALL Him.
so keep us in your prayers as we continue to learn this and let God put it together!
this lesson began on thursday for me. and i remembered what happens when i dont take the time to talk to God and prepare and really pray before i spend any time speaking in front of people. it is not a pretty thing.
God is truly the sole reason i am doing what i am today...and i hate that i forget that sometimes - but so grateful that He takes the time to wake me up and remind me.
On Thursday we had part of the team there...we're working on a few scenes at a time - trying to be highly productive. :)
one of the scenes is a look at how even though God is there to help us, He doesnt always show up in the way we want Him to. and when we get distracted by our own ideas, we feel frustrated or angry or abandoned - even though He is right there, just wanting so badly to help. John 6 gives a picture of how God doesn't always work the way we expect...like when Jesus came - people had an idea of who Jesus would be, and He did not match it. another place in scripture where expectations threw people off is in Exodus, with the Israelites when they got past the red sea, going to the promised land - and then ended up in the desert, eating manna. still in God's hand - but it was not what they had expected and it threw them off and they started looking elsewhere for what they wanted.
The other scene we worked on gives a picture of how what we think we want, what we think looks good - isn't always what it seems. sometimes the world makes things look so good and so available so we dont stop to consider that maybe God knows something we dont. we just see what is right in front of us and that it looks like fun for the moment...so that is what we focus on, but so many times God watches and tries to get our attention, but because we want what we want, we dont look to see what He is trying to say and more often than not, learn the hard way that God really does know what is best.
He sees the WHOLE picture and we just need to remember that. the bible tells the story of David - when he saw Bathsheba, something he thought he wanted, something that was right in front of him, available...and he went after it. and altough it seemed ideal, seemed like it would make him happy, if you have read the story, you know it doesnt end well. it just leads to MORE difficulty. and we look at him and think how weak he is...but we all fall victim to the idea of quick happiness, easy satisfaction despite the deafening warning bells God has going off in our heads every time. its so easy to get distracted.
easier said than done to stay focused, but lucky for us - God doesnt ever stop trying to get our attention. He never stops watching over us, paying attention. Never. amazing, isnt it?
the scenes came together quickly and better than we thought they would. the girls did an amazing job of being the mean girls...haha...so cute. ;) and jordan did a great job of being a heartbreaker...:) and the people playing Jesus and the girl are learning quickly and my prayer for all of them is that God will create and portray the characters the way He wants and that they will give Him room to move through them to put this whole story together.
so i am learning to remember how important it is to keep the focus on God, stay in prayer and remember that none of this is me...its ALL Him.
so keep us in your prayers as we continue to learn this and let God put it together!
Monday, March 1, 2010
WAKE UP!!!
Yes, I know I have blogged A LOT in the last few days…however, God is like revealing things and moving like CRAZY in my life right now and its pretty much incredible. God’s timing is basically impeccable…just so crazy to realize over and over again.
So since I have a space out here to get all this stuff out – I will take advantage of it! :)
So like I wrote on Saturday, God has been helping me understand the difference between “living for God and living led by Him.” And where I still don’t have anywhere near a perfect understanding of it – its becoming a whole lot clearer. So after the whole Friday night revelation, I have been having some AMAZING time with God, just resting in His Spirit. But you know what is so fantastic about “resting in His Spirit”??? is that resting in Him doesn’t mean we are doing nothing…but as we rest and give ourselves over to Him, He MOVES. That is when He is finally allowed to really move, when we let go, and step aside. So cool. So he’s just been doing cool things. But yesterday at Edinbrook – Pastor Ivan Veldhuizen went up to preach and he shared a passage from Mark 14. When Jesus reveals to his disciples that one of them would betray Him. And looking at this statement as a wake up call for them.
As sort of a way to say – hey, one of you is going to lead me to my death, this is your chance to find out which of you it is and fix it, let God work on your heart so you don’t regret it forever…but they didn’t! they started arguing, immediately putting their guards up – convinced that “they” would never do such a thing. And just looking at Jesus, how He must have felt…in the midst of the people closest to Him, the ppl who knew Him best and were supposed to love Him the most…and they weren’t even paying attention. They didn’t even know what was coming. How hard must that have been??? And harder question to look at is, what am I not seeing? What is He trying to show me, but I am so focused on what I want and my life that I don’t even see it??? And Pastor Ivan posed a question – how might God be trying to wake you up?
And he gave a bunch of possibilities like world events, or personal struggles, etc. and for me…this past week – my wake-up call has been the Holy Spirit stirring in me!!! Yesterday morning I realized that all of the revelations and this new, constant presence of His Spirit I have been feeling all week – this is Him waking me up, the Spirit just coming alive. Its new for me and its really really exciting. And I just couldn’t stop smiling all morning…just so overwhelmed and pushed to tears with joy and relief that God is SO close and He really does speak to us and is so involved in every detail and aspect of our lives. He knows us. And when we start to fall asleep – He wakes us up. He WANTS so badly for us to be living in tune with His Spirit ALL the time. We were created to be living according to His plan fully, not just fitting Him in where we need help. Completely surrendered. This week has been amazing, I thought I was in awe, I thought I was experiencing the Holy Spirit before – but He has shown me a whole new level of His power and realness and I am SO excited to see what else He has coming. What it is I am being woken up to see.
He just gave me such a peace over the upcoming Mexico trip and the team and its just so crazy how DIFFERENT everything looks when we are completely surrendered and God is really moving instead of us doing the moving.
So yeah…big stuff.
Stay tuned for what comes next! I guess we’ll find out together.
Prayer, people…prayer and submission…HUGE things.
So since I have a space out here to get all this stuff out – I will take advantage of it! :)
So like I wrote on Saturday, God has been helping me understand the difference between “living for God and living led by Him.” And where I still don’t have anywhere near a perfect understanding of it – its becoming a whole lot clearer. So after the whole Friday night revelation, I have been having some AMAZING time with God, just resting in His Spirit. But you know what is so fantastic about “resting in His Spirit”??? is that resting in Him doesn’t mean we are doing nothing…but as we rest and give ourselves over to Him, He MOVES. That is when He is finally allowed to really move, when we let go, and step aside. So cool. So he’s just been doing cool things. But yesterday at Edinbrook – Pastor Ivan Veldhuizen went up to preach and he shared a passage from Mark 14. When Jesus reveals to his disciples that one of them would betray Him. And looking at this statement as a wake up call for them.
As sort of a way to say – hey, one of you is going to lead me to my death, this is your chance to find out which of you it is and fix it, let God work on your heart so you don’t regret it forever…but they didn’t! they started arguing, immediately putting their guards up – convinced that “they” would never do such a thing. And just looking at Jesus, how He must have felt…in the midst of the people closest to Him, the ppl who knew Him best and were supposed to love Him the most…and they weren’t even paying attention. They didn’t even know what was coming. How hard must that have been??? And harder question to look at is, what am I not seeing? What is He trying to show me, but I am so focused on what I want and my life that I don’t even see it??? And Pastor Ivan posed a question – how might God be trying to wake you up?
And he gave a bunch of possibilities like world events, or personal struggles, etc. and for me…this past week – my wake-up call has been the Holy Spirit stirring in me!!! Yesterday morning I realized that all of the revelations and this new, constant presence of His Spirit I have been feeling all week – this is Him waking me up, the Spirit just coming alive. Its new for me and its really really exciting. And I just couldn’t stop smiling all morning…just so overwhelmed and pushed to tears with joy and relief that God is SO close and He really does speak to us and is so involved in every detail and aspect of our lives. He knows us. And when we start to fall asleep – He wakes us up. He WANTS so badly for us to be living in tune with His Spirit ALL the time. We were created to be living according to His plan fully, not just fitting Him in where we need help. Completely surrendered. This week has been amazing, I thought I was in awe, I thought I was experiencing the Holy Spirit before – but He has shown me a whole new level of His power and realness and I am SO excited to see what else He has coming. What it is I am being woken up to see.
He just gave me such a peace over the upcoming Mexico trip and the team and its just so crazy how DIFFERENT everything looks when we are completely surrendered and God is really moving instead of us doing the moving.
So yeah…big stuff.
Stay tuned for what comes next! I guess we’ll find out together.
Prayer, people…prayer and submission…HUGE things.
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