i have come to know Satan as many things but overall, the one who will do anything to tear God's plan apart...i have experienced his attacks numerous times, both blatant and subtle But he has come up with a new tactic that he has never used on me before. Last week, sarah and i got in front of the group to explain the plans for the night - and nothing came out. nothing. there was nothing in our heads. so we prayed, and God brought it back...i thought it was just because we were not very prepared, which is part of it. but last night, we got up, i prepared. i prayed through the words, the verses, spent time on it beforehand, felt really good about it. got in front of the group...ready. and sarah began to read, and just started tripping over the words. she gave me the bible...i started to read and the SAME thing happened. the kids' focus is broken at this point and i just felt this pull, like God was saying "dont lose me here, keep pushing through, keep going..." and so i kept reading, we kept going...and got through it. praying through it in my head, we got it all out. and i pray that God got His message across. but then we got ready to start teaching...and i was looking through all my documents, looking for the details we had written out and couldnt find them ANYWHERE. so confused...but we got through it, remembered most of it and figured out the rest. so praise God, He is always there, ready for when we ask for help. and it wasnt until this morning that i remembered that we had written everything out in my notebook, which was there with us all night. and it never even entered my mind once, during the whole night...not once.
now...if you dont know me - you are thinking, well, that was dumb. ha - and it SOUNDS that way, but i have never ever ever gotten up in front of people to talk and NOTHING came out, my mind being completely blank...and i have never had so much trouble reading. i can be disorganized i will admit, extremely so at times, but not to the point where i forget where i write stuff down and it doesnt occur to me where i did. my memory and mind just dont work that way. things always come back to me. and i can't ignore the fact that the only times this ever has happened is when we are up in front of the team, trying to get this all together. Satan doesnt want this. He has made that very clear, and he has proved how sneaky and creative he can be...working in new ways all the time, catching us off guard. but i thank our LORD who is always watching, waking us up to see what Satan is doing so that we can pray against it, so we can fight. and i am so grateful that His message is not dependent on me...or on Sarah, or on anyone but Him. we're just tools, satan can mess with the tools, but he cannot mess up God. so please keep us in your prayers that Satan will not have any power or influence in this. that God will protect our minds and memories and that satan will not affect the way that we speak - or what the team hears. that Gods message and words will overcome and outshine anything that satan tries to do!!!
satan has declared war...he has caused me to wake up and be alert. and all this means for us now is that its time to fight.
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