last normal ALIVE meeting for awhile...

last thursday was our last "normal" ALIVE meeting for awhile. This thursday begins the meetings of the Mexico missions team. I wrote earlier about the upcoming trip...we are going to Nogales Mexico for a week in June with a group of high schoolers - we dont know for sure who or how many yet...that is still in Gods hands...:) and in process right now is a show that we will be doing here in the U.S. and taking to churches and parks in Mexico when we go. just had a meeting with Chelsea Kimball last night - really really excited for the music that is and will be coming together!!! such a huge project, but giving plenty of room for God to wow us!
So we will be taking a break to work on all of that :)
it is sad to think that we wont be seeing everybody every week for awhile...we really do have such a great group of people, and for various reasons, a few of them will not be going on the trip with us, so we wont be seeing them regularly for now.
But for last week, we had kind of a chill meeting. we played games...super fun. its so fun to just laugh and have fun with acting. we played a game where everyone writes down 3 random words on sheets of paper and then we put them all into a bucket and then split into teams and from there you draw one out, and have to act out the words, and your team has to guess as many as they can in a minute. the hard part is then your team has to remember all 3 words they guessed and say them in order. haha...doesnt sound hard, but it is. then we played a game using the same words on paper to create skits that had to include those three words...haha. oh - now that is a good game. :) we have a VERY creative group. so funny. LOVED it.
then we had a short devo time - we all sat down in the living room and i shared 1 cor 2 with them - well most of it.
but it is SUCH powerful stuff. it was a reminder for them all, whether we will continue seeing them every week or not, of what this team is. and how God has gifted us all with this crazy cool stuff - no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind of man has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him - ALL of us have gifts in us that are from Him that have more potential than man can even fathom. but its there and if we let God get a hold of it and really allow Him to have free reign with it in us - whoa. there is no limit to what He can or wants to do. and later in the chapter it says that the Holy Spirit is here to help us understand the things freely given us by God...so we need the Holy Spirit to be able to use these gifts - but He is here, ready to help! so great!!! and then i read a part in John 14 - where it tells us that we are going to do even greater works than even Jesus himself did while here on Earth with the help of the Spirit and God's power in us. SO crazy, but so exciting to imagine what God can do through us...and then KNOWING that it will be even greater and bigger than that - because the Bible tells us that we HAVENT imagined it yet...so just like Tom G shared at Edinbrook on sunday - dream big! TRUST that God can and will do what He says He will. that the dreams He gives us are NOT too big for Him to actually accomplish.
so something God has been drilling into me lately and what i want to pass on to you is that God HAS given you gifts. He has...if you dont know what they are yet - ask. he'll show you. they are in you...and you cannot use them on your own. they only work the way they are supposed to when the Holy Spirit is using them. so go to Him, give Him power to move freely in you and then sit back, and let Him do his thing...and enjoy! :)
and keep us and this trip and the team members (ALIVE and Mission Trip) in your prayers. that God will continue to reveal His gifts and plans...:)

words from God.

these passages have been on my heart as sarah and i have been working on this upcoming project and i just wanted to share them. God's love is beyond anything we could possibly fathom...so beautiful.

Hosea 2:19-20
19And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. 20I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.

Psalm 36:7
How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

hosea 11:8
8How can I give you up, O Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, O Israel?
How can I make you like Admah?
How can I treat you like Zeboiim?
My heart recoils within me;
my compassion grows warm and tender.

Hosea 6:4-6
(4)What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, OJudah?
Your love is like a morning cloud,
like the dew that goes early away
(6)For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.

Joshua 1:9
9Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."

Isaiah 43:3-4
For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
4Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you

surrender...

I think that I write a lot about love on here…and over the past two years of my life – that is what He has been teaching me. Over and over again. In argentina, that was my prayer. That I would learn how to love, really at all but especially the way God called me to.
And He has been teaching me ever since…it took me a long time to realize that I had a heart of stone. That I had hidden and manipulated and controlled so much that I had lost the ability to feel, to cry, to care or take risks and be vulnerable at all. And that realization killed me…how could God use me if I couldn’t even really love people? If I couldn’t get past myself? it was so hard to see what I had let myself become, but in that is when I asked God to give me a heart of flesh like He promises to do in Deuteronomy. To teach me to love the way He does and just break all the walls in me. And He has been, little by little over the last 2 years or so, but just in the last week or so I have reached some big mile markers that have shown me how truly far He has brought me. And they are ones that only I can really understand…haha
Sometimes the biggest things God does in us, well actually – prb most of the time – only we can really grasp the gravity of. When I look at my heart now, as opposed to what it was…it is unbelievable. I am in absolute AWE of what He has done. But its not always something people can see.
One thing that has been one of the biggest struggles for me is that I am independent – very much so. And I have really struggled with selfishness…and not necessarily that everything is about me, but just selfish with my time. I LIKE not having to answer to anyone but God. I LIKE being able to spend every spare second in ministry, focusing on what God is doing now, if that’s how I am feeling…and not have to worry about neglecting other things – which isn’t necessarily bad…but I get so caught up in what I am doing and just stop listening for anything else. I realized I have gotten comfortable doing what I am doing, and stopped listening because, well, who knows what other crazy things He is going to ask me to do!
I am truly in awe of the people that can balance all of their families and friends and jobs and ministries and all of it…I really really struggle with that, and I just pray that God will teach me to get past ME and focus on other, and i believe He is, i am learning. This team has been SUCH a blessing to my life…I cant even explain how much fun it is, how great the team is or how amazingly encouraging it is to see the team be touched by God and just see the growth and openness of all their hearts. Last week we had a time of sharing and a prayer time. It is really cool to see that God is working in them. And Sarah and I are both praying that He continues to just POUR into them and keep them seeking for more!
But I know that it all belongs to Him. That it is just a crazy blessing that I am a part of this at all…it is not by any means because I am so thoroughly talented and gifted by my own power…I am not….I know that…its ALL Him.
And He’s given me dreams for the team…BIG ones…and so in my head, I’m always thinking ahead, trying to figure it out, manipulate it, plan it around my future and potential future husband ;) and leaders and all these things and how it will fit into MY life…….but He is reminding me – in no uncertain terms…that this team AND my life are His. He has the plans, He has the vision, He has the resources, I don’t have to figure it all out. Im just a tool for Him to use. He has other things I need to be hearing too…so I need to let Him work. Haha…And He just showed me my own heart yesterday and some of what He has been doing and just realizing that He has been preparing me and I didn’t even notice but I feel like I am FINALLY ready to give up the team’s role in MY life to Him…really and truly. To really listen and really be open to what HE wants to do, whatever it is. I know that this team will be in my life for awhile if not forever, but I need to be ready and get out of the comfort zone that I have created. :) It is a crazy freeing feeling. Not to worry or freak out or anything…but to just follow His voice. Just keep following……it should be scary…haha…I mean, this is my future we are talking about…but I cannot even begin to explain the peace and freedom I feel in giving it all over to Him. And just KNOWING that He will take care of all of it.
He is so good, and so faithful.
So I am so excited to just see what He has…and embrace it.
So we will see what comes next!
I pray that we can all just break out of our comfort zones and really see what God has…it is guaranteed to be so much better than whatever we have planned :)
and i will leave you with a chapter from the Bible for you to look up that has spoken to me a lot about surrendering to Gods will...:)
i pray that we can all reach a place where if all we have in this world is God...we will have peace and security in all of our days.
Isaiah 39

overwhelmed...

so i would sign in as myself so Jillian would show up at the bottom...but i cannot remember the password for my login...haha...so i am ALIVE. ;)
anyways...so pretty much God has just been OVERWHELMING me with Him over the last 2 weeks or so. that is the only word i can use to describe Him right now. just filling me up with joy and peace and showing me all these little things so i can get a glimpse of answered prayers and just His PERFECT timing!!! its absolutely incredible...and i cant even go into huge detail because i would write forever...(team..if you are reading this...i dont write that much...;))
but what is so crazy is that as we write this show - it is a picture of God's broken heart. and just how all He wants is for us to love Him...to make a decision to love Him and live for Him...to allow Him to use us.......but we hesitate. and we play with His heart. and its so crazy because every church service, every study, every verse i have come across, every "random" song i find,every conversation about what God is teaching people...EVERYTHING has been on that same exact theme! its so great...its like God is just teaching me and helping me learn more about the whole story so we are better able to put it together! and it just makes me smile so much.
so great to be reminded OVER and over again that God is in charge. but satan also has had his part in the last few weeks in my life and just the littlest things bother me...and get to me and i know its just satan trying to get in my head and break up the peace i am feeling. he is trying to make me anxious and nervous and annoyed and i just am praying through it. but last week God had me fast for a couple days and i never really got the whole fasting thing...haha...but i prayed to learn discipline...so i guess...:) anyways...it was the greatest time. it was like every time i was tempted to eat - it was like satan trying to get to me. but just being in the mindset of saying no - every time it was like showing the flesh who was in charge. that i do NOT have to give in, i dont even have to consider what i know is satan. that God is SO much bigger, and satan really has NO power over us! how FREEING is that???? so powerful. that we are FREE. so yeah...long stories short right...? haha i just have to share what God is doing...this is truly only the beginning, but ill cut this "short". but leave with - God is so good. He has set us FREE. and His plan and timing are ABSOLUTLEY and always perfect. nothing less.
so if we stay praying and stay in the word...He can show us that and begin to transform us into what He intended for us and then we will be ready for anything satan can throw at us. beautiful. absolutely beautiful.

learning God's creativity...

it has been awhile since i have written anything on here...life is crazy!
a very good crazy...but crazy nonetheless. last week for our ALIVE meeting we had broken the team up into groups and given each group a bible passage and told them to pray on it, think about it and come up with some sort of creative element they could use to portray the passage or a lesson from the passage. just a practice activity to get used to seeking God for inspiration.
they had 2 weeks to think on it and play with it and last week we met up and they shared what they had come up with. we heard some good ideas and i would love to spend more time developing them and just learning how to let God work. learn how to rely on HIS inspiration and creativity. so im excited to see where He goes with that.
And our trip is still in the works! working on getting the show put together, piece by piece. theres still a lot to do, but i have no doubt that God will figure it out. He has proven time and time again that He has already prepared everything we need for this to happen.
How great is it that God doesnt call us to crazy things and then lets us fend for ourselves??? but He calls us to it and then takes over. ALL we have to do is let Him! i cannot hear that or learn that lesson enough. i LOVE it. there is no rush like being put in an impossible situation and then seeing Him take over. its incredible. so it is a blessing to be called to do such a hugely crazy thing. haha...i have no doubt we will get to experience Him in a truly amazing way.
so keep us in your prayers as i am sure that Satan will not stand back and just allow all this to happen. pray that we can all be taught by God to do what it is He calls us to and pray that we will stay focused on Him and not be distracted.
so excited for all that He is doing!