a war cry

"Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, Iwill answer him;
I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation."
Psalm 91:14-16

God i am asking for your help right now. i am asking for patience, i am asking for peace, i am asking for your mighty hand to move.
mostly i am asking that you send your angels to guard this team, guard this trip, guard the leaders, guard the people down in mexico - all of it - from the enemy.
satan is trying so hard to get in, so hard to get in the spirit of complacency and indifference and God - i just break that right now, in your name! dont let us just sit and watch.
he has no power.
if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
if our GOD is with us, who can stand against us???
pour out your spirit over us, drench us with you.
keep satan out.
Get behind us, satan!!! we are not yours. we are Gods.
guard us God!!! that we can breath you in and be strengthened.
grab our attention and stir up our passion for you God.
stir up our passion for the gifts you have given us and for the mission you are about to send us on.
send your fire, God and just wake us all UP!!!
give us an urgency of your plan, instill in us the calling you have for us...
we are your soldiers.
God - teach us and prepare us to fight.
break down the walls and the grips and bonds that satan is working so hard to get in place...destroy them and help us to run from them as fast and as hard as we can....into your arms.
we are desperate for you! we need your help
help us stand strong and to see the warfare being waged for our lives.
we are for you...we have accepted your call...and we declare that you are God and you are victorious.
be with us. show us who you are. ignite your spirit in us.
Hosanna!

-Amen

answering His call...

so after posting my last post and really looking at what it means to answer His call...
this morning in sunday school we talked about giving. and how we know that we are called to tithe and give a part of our money back to God. and how we are supposed to ask God how much He wants us to give...and then do it gladly. so we watched a video and our pastor laid out a vision for what the money the church receives might be going for. and afterwards - it was brought up that sometimes it makes it easier to give once you know where the money is going. and literally the first question asked was "but should it?"
and i was like whoa...this is EXACTLY what i have been learning!
what does it look like to REALLY answer the call?

once you ask God what He wants you to give, you know it, you either commit to give it or you dont. but you have your answer...its just a matter of what you do with it.
so the question is - should it matter what it will go for? should we hear the call, wait and see what it all entails and then change how we react accordingly?
or should we make the decision to follow and then just trust that He will do what He wants with it.

so i am brought back to the question that came up yesterday...

once we hear His call for our lives and decide to answer it...should anything be able to impact it?

its hard to not look at the circumstances and try to rationalize and figure it out...ESPECIALLY in regards to money and safety. but honestly...does looking at it through the worlds eyes just make it harder to follow after Him?

it does for me. and while its good...no, NECESSARY to run into it with your eyes open and be prepared and be aware and be praying...

i guess what i am asking is - is there a difference between letting the "stuff" affect whether or not you fully answer the call and looking at the "stuff" to better prepare yourself for when you are in it?

once you hear Gods calling for you...you have that moment to choose. do i follow it or not?
and it HAS to be in that moment that the choice is made, because if we try to be lukewarm and say "um...well maybe"...then look at the circumstances going on and THEN decide...we wont do it. plain and simple. satan will make sure of that. and is that faith? the book of Hebrews says that faith is hearing God and then just trusting that He knows best...even when you cant see every detail.
it has to be a decision in response to God.
and it has to be final. we're not supposed to waver...
if God wants to change plans...He will. its not like He cant do it, if we are doing something wrong, He will get us on the right paths - if we are listening (proverbs 3:5-6). for me - i would rather be running towards Him collecting a few scrapes and bruises in the learning process, than be perfectly safe and miss what He has completely.
at least then He knows that i am
He is sovereign and He is working. He will do what He needs to and we just need to NOT LISTEN TO SATAN!!! satan is so so so sneaky and its so crazy to see how fast he can get so far in in so many different ways. we need to just stop him. we need to fight.
and we need to never stop running toward God...

fear?

ok...new revelation for the day.

this morning i reread the quote from the last post by Mark Batterson...the first sentence.

"quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death."

here is the revelation...

God gives us our calling.

and once we hear it, we can know it and follow after it/Him with everything in us...and anything that says otherwise is irrelevant.

satan sees us and sees that calling and that is where his mission begins. he does all he can to keep us away from what God has. sometimes he lies, sometimes he twists the truth, and sometimes all he has to do is just take the scary truths, the ones that make us nervous, and just shove it in our face - like "you agreed to this calling...but did you see this? did you hear what happened there? did you know its dangerous?"

and while its true...while he is not lying..........is it even relevant?

if God calls you to something...does anything else matter? do you have to look at the circumstances? does God call us and expect us to accept - on the condition that we feel comfortable with it?

i dont believe that.

fear is a VERY effective weapon satan uses...and he knows this.

all he has to do is get us to doubt.

and in that - we start to justify why we cant follow God, and why its crazy, and why although we know its satan...he might be right. that God couldnt possibly be calling us to this.

but here is what God made me realize...

He might call us to something else...BUT HE WILL NEVER USE FEAR TO DO IT.

again...if fear is what is keeping us from following the calling..however justified and figured out our fears are - its not God.

He will shut doors or take away opportunities or just straight up tell us...but He will never scare you out of following Him.

i have been struggling with fear this past week...starting to listen to the voices that say
"just dont risk it...just dont, its easier and no one will blame you or judge you for staying..." and THAT is a scary place to be. scarier than walking into the unknown that God is calling me to...the place where the world has more influence on my decisions than God does. and that is how God is helping me have confirmation on my calling...i can see where satan wants me, i can hear what he is telling me...so i know i have to run in the opposite direction with utter abandon.

as we listen for His calling, as we pray that God will speak and lead and stretch us, here is what God has been speaking to me...and im not saying that i am a master of this - im not. im just learning it - but i know its something i need put into practice starting NOW.

be ready and open to hear WHATEVER it is that He's about to say.

hear it, know it, cling to it.

dont let anything tell you that its too crazy or too dangerous or impossible.

dont listen for a second to the voices making you doubt or fear or second guess.

and fight with everything in you to follow after it...and if you start to be unsure that its actually your calling...pray, and keep fighting for it until God tells you otherwise.

quit living life as if the purpose is to arrive safely at death.

God has so much more than that for us...and we will never see Him do big things if we never take big steps.

dont ignore the calling...its the only way we will ever experience God in the way we were designed to.

clinging to His truths...

"Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Grab life by the mane. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshipping what's right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze a new trail. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion."
- Mark Batterson

Sherrill Thurston put this quote on facebook today and it speaks RIGHT into my heart.

there are some things i just wanted to write last night but didnt get to. something that i am realizing is how EASY it can be to listen to the lies. SO easy.

before last night, all week i was feeling so much peace about mexico and my calling, OUR calling there and just really feeling confident in trusting God. God spoke a lot of comfort and peace and courage into me this week...not that i have mastered it or understand it even a little bit...but that is what He has been filling me with this week. so i felt good. went to practice - and it was like satan was there waiting for me. all of a sudden i was feeling crabby and unsure and i couldnt get words out and things were coming up to try to get us to doubt and question what we were doing and just a WHOLE lot of different things with all different people...

and it was so quick to start to rationalize and question all that God had spoken.

and all of a sudden i was like - what just happened? where did my peace go?

and what God was showing me was that we need to learn His voice. we need to hear it and recognize it and when we hear it...we need to hang onto it. write down what He says in that moment of clarity and carry it in our pocket - because in that moment it all makes sense and we feel good and at peace and powerful - but as soon as we get into the world and satan has an opening...he'll take it. and he will do whatever he has to to get you to doubt and question it and start to justify why God MUST have been wrong...

but that is not the truth.

the truth is what you have written down in our pocket. the truth is what we heard in that moment with God...the truth is what we have to cling to for our very lives because there is only one truth...and most of the time it doesnt make sense. and satan will use whatever you know and whatever is in your head to make HIS way make more sense...

so God is showing me what complacency looks like in my life. how easy it is to DO NOTHING. just not fight, but not give in...just nothing. its safe. its the easy way. but heres the thing - nothing is not fighting and the ONLY way we will ever experience the victory and freedom that God has already given us? is by fighting.

its hard. we will fall. we will fail. we will have trouble (john 16:33).

but there is no power bigger than God.

none.

last night we told the team that after prayer and in finally feeling some peace - we have decided not to do the Project (at least not be the focus) in mexico. it seems crazy but God is just saying - trust me that i am God and i know.

how do you say no to that?

and so we go forward with a new plan. having a few short dramas, dances, testimonies all ready so that as we go, we can follow the Holy Spirit's leading to what He is calling us to do in that moment.

we are feeling really excited about it all. Gods in control.

we started learning a new drama last night and it went really well, we got really far and it looks great. it will be a great ministry tool down in mexico.

and we heard some more life stories from nate, shane, and chelsea r. it amazes me how open and honest this team is. its so so so beautiful! and so encouraging to me and im sure all of us.

so thank you guys for sharing your heart.

we also had a prayer time, a time to just give God all of this craziness and uncertainty to Him. it is out of our hands, which is where it should be.

please keep us in your prayers that we will not stop fighting. that satan will not have a place in this process and that God just silences that voice so that all we hear is His.

warfare

the process of this trip has been a roller coaster - to say the least. i have learned more about God and trust and faith and so much else...and were still a month away from even leaving! crazy.
and right now...i am feeling so angry at satan. this is new for me...i have been annoyed and frustrated and tired, but never just straight up angry.

i will say that i just wrote a LONG blog...getting my heart out, praying against satan and all of his ruthless attempts to get to our team...and i published it...and it disappeared.
that has never happened.

so since its now 3 am and i am waking up in a few hours - i leave with this for now...

God will see His plan to the end.
i declare right now that God is God and He has the victory.
satan can try and try and try...but he cannot win if we dont let him.

its been a TOUGH week, but thats all it is, just a tough time. its not over.

i pray that we allow God to refine us thorughly and completely and truly seek His plan for us, seek to hear HIS calling for us...no matter what it is.

and that satan is silenced.

pray pray pray...this is warfare, and we cannot stop fighting.