procrastination...

So im feeling God’s pull lately…like “come on, remember what you said you were going to do and never did…??? It still needs to get done!” I am a procrastinator in the worst way and I always have been. And I have definitely lost some momentum that I was feeling, BUT… fortunately - God doesn’t. He doesn’t lose motivation, He doesn’t procrastinate. He stays focused on His plan, on top of every detail…
why? Because its important to Him! Every single part and detail is so important, and deserves His attention.
And while its in MY nature to push things off and plan but never actually do – I know its something that He is calling me to break. At least when it comes to ministry…His vision was never meant to be seen, be excited over– and then put on a shelf with all the other good ideas I had one day but never got around to. No – He shares it because He wants us to be a part of His plan. His plan is perfect and so if He is calling us to something – there’s a reason for it, there is a purpose behind it. Its important to Him…and therefore, should be to us.
The verse “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” is coming to mind…
it is up to us to accept the call or not. And something that is starting to sink in that is really driving me is the realization that I cant just casually say yes to God. Its not a sure, yeah, that sounds nice, maybe some day…I mean, I could…but it wont do anyone any good.
He cant do anything with a maybe…He’s looking for a “yes, Lord. i give you my life to do with as you will.”
Done. we don’t get to pick and choose…he’s not giving us a book of options and we pick what part we want to live – He has a plan. A specific one and so we just need to answer, and then follow.
Why? Because we love Him and we realize that He is important. That His plan is more important than anything we could possibly be doing instead of what He’s calling us to.
Even when its tedious and seemingly pointless– we need to be praying that He will change our hearts about it…because its so important.
There is no wavering, no second guessing, no pushing it off and one day forgetting about it.
There are lives and eternity at stake in God’s plan…and since we cant see all that is happening all the time, we need to trust Him to put us and lead us to where we are needed.
I guess what I am trying to say is that although everything in me at times wants to just rest and relax and do my own thing in that moment that I am feeling God calling me to do something else, something for His kingdom – I need to get past ME…and realize that His plan is so much bigger than ME. That by ignoring His call, I am missing something He wanted to use me for. and I just need that to be enough to motivate me. Honestly – as of now, it isn’t always enough…but my prayer is that it will be. That God makes that such a part of my life – of all of our lives – that at the very hint of His leading or calling we get excited and jump right up and say “where do you need me, Lord?”
Because the God of the universe is not only willing to use us, but loves us and wants us to be a part of HIS beautiful design.

So yeah…that’s where my heart is right now. So lets stop putting things off and just do them! :)

Psalm 72

ok...so the first meeting of ALIVE didnt turn out exactly as i planned - seeing as i had a horrible headache all day and COULDNT GO! quite possibly the saddest story ever...i realized its been a LONG time since i have been home on a thursday night...and i dont miss it.

so needless to say - im ready for next week!

haha

i hope it went well for those of you who were there...? :)

i just want to share some things God has been sharing with me lately.

He's been having me pray a lot for the team and its future and i have just been working to listen and be led by Him...

and something kind of random that has really stuck with me is a line from the movie the Book of Eli...i was watching it (really good movie, a lot of killing at times, but good) and at the end after all he has been through he says...

"thank you, Lord for giving me the strength and protection to complete the task you entrusted to me"

and he goes on - but that line really stuck. even though my life is not quite as epic as walking through a desert trying to survive and protect the last Bible in the world...i just feel like we, as a team, are on this mission. this mission that God is calling us on to go from where we are now to where God is calling...and right now it seems overwhelming and huge. right now, i have no idea how to get where He's leading us to...but in the movie God took care of it. Eli was just the tool. and after all of it, all the impossible moments - he was still able, at the end of it all, to look back and thank God for helping him complete the task entrusted to him.

and when i heard that, it was like i was just filled with this drive to be able to say that one day. knowing that i trusted God enough to get us through the impossible - TO the seemingly impossible. and be able to say "thank you for getting us here..."

how exciting!

and He has been having me read Psalm 72...

its a picture of what is possible when God is in control...when God is the one providing the power and authority. and its pretty amazing stuff...and it is causing me to want to dream HUGE. realizing that He can do it. and to dream it with confidence...confidence that He wants to do big things. im not going to put it all in here because its long, but go read it. its a really really powerful prayer for leaders. it was written about King Solomon, asking that God give him the justice and righteousness to lead the people and do all these huge things through him, using His power...and just touch lives all over the place. asking God to be the power that impacts people. what if we prayed that over all our leaders? that they be filled with God and granted the justice and righteousness of Him? i know i want that. i dont want to do things just to please God..i want Him to do what He wants through ME.

"blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things." (v.18)

He also brought me to Isaiah 45:3 last night. a powerful promise...

"I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel who called you by your name."

i have said before that i have really no idea what is coming...but i'm going to keep praying, keep seeking and follow Him when He leads, no matter how small or huge the steps are.

i pray that we ALL take time to find out what God's seemingly impossibly huge dreams are for our lives...and then trust Him to bring us to the completion of it! so one day we can get to the place where we look back in AWE of Him and say "thank you for strengthening me and protecting me to complete the task you entrusted to me..."

what a huge privilege to be called to be a part of His plan - and we ALL are! He has the greatest, most creative imagination ever...and He has a specific plan for each of us. lets find out what it is!!!

:)

and its something we can only really do by surrendering ourselves to Him, and allowing Him to work and refine us. Allow Him to prepare us, and only He knows what we need, for what is coming, for what we are called to.

long story short - ask Him to do ALL the work! :)

still sad i couldnt be at ALIVE last night...i missed you team if you are reading this!

i hope to see you all next week!

dreamin big

its time to dream big dreams...to see Your vision become reality. cuz its for You, and by You, and those who love You want to do something so big - its destined to fail without you Lord...

"something big" by john waller

great song...just LOVE the lyrics.

do you ever take time to really think about what you would do if you could do ANYTHING in life? like the ultimate, ideal dream you could think of for your life...
its a scary thing to do sometimes...so overwhelming and big! and, for me anyways, can be hard to really say what you are really dreaming about...because what if ppl laugh? what if ppl think your ridiculous for dreaming these things? or what if it doesnt work out?

or have you ever had those moments where you feel like God is asking you to think about what it is you would want if you could have anything? and you know somehow that whatever you say next He is already planning to make happen in some way...so as hard as it is, you know this is your chance to be completely honest and admit the big dreams you have?

im feeling that lately...God used the Mexico trip to just awaken all these restless feelings and memories of all the times He has asked me what I want...what i dream about with this team and ministry and my life.

so all these big dreams are coming back to the surface...no longer seeming like some big, vague, distant, "someday" type of thing that i can just push away for later- but like something that God is about to make real.

and its like i have NO idea how to go about doing what is to come next...but we didnt know how to put a team together, how to write/create a show, or how to get to Mexico either...yet God did all that...

so right now its like we're in this place of having just a glimpse of what is to come, and having to trust that He is going to get it done, that He is going to get us where He needs us.

crazy stuff to think about, but so cool to see God just working and moving to make dreams happen. He places these dreams in us and then gives us a passion for them and just moves to make it happen in His design. its so amazing.

so i guess what i am saying is dream BIG...be honest with God about where your heart is and what you want, what your desires are - because maybe its a dream God put there and He wants to make it happen.

tell Him, talk with Him, and trust Him with your dreams. and allow Him to prepare you and His plan in the perfect way He designed.

keep the team in your prayers, pray that we can stay faithful in taking the necessary steps to get where He is leading us to...no matter how crazy they may seem. :)

real freedom

hi friends!

so this morning i led our Loft group (young adults) at church - we are reading/studying Ruth.

and the thing that hit me most while studying chapter 2 of Ruth was the amazing freedom that grace brings.

and in Ruth we see her ask to glean from the field, and she, as a foreigner, has no right to it and Boaz doesnt have to allow her to stay.

But he does, he tells her that not only can she stay - but that she is to only come to his land, to stay close to the other servants, that his workers have been instructed not to harm her, and that she can have the water from the wells when she wants, and take as much barley as she wants.

and she is so moved by this grace that she falls to the ground and says - "why? why do you give me all this? im a foreigner..." she could have just accepted and walked away...but she didnt. she made him very aware (if he wasnt already) that she didnt deserve it, that she wasnt entitled.

and he stops her and says - i know everything. i have been told ALL about you...

and again she falls on her face and says - you have comforted me...

such AMAZING freedom that must have brought her!!! such a huge sigh of relief. because she told him the truth, she opened herself up he was able to respond with "i already know everything..." freeing her from living under the constant fear of "being found out" or having him hear something about her past that would make him take it all back or change his mind.

but he tells her - i already know.

what if she hadnt been open with him? what if she had just walked away?

she never would have had the opportunity to hear him say - i already know...and i give you all this still.

and just like Christ wants to tell us...i know all about you, all you have done and all you will do. and i love you still. nothing will make Him take His gift back. but until we confess, until we are OPEN with Him....we will live in the constant fear and worry that He will find something, that He will see something that will make Him change His mind. that we somehow need to earn His love and gifts...and until we tell Him everything, until we let Him see into every single part of us...He cant answer us with - i already know...and i love you still.

and we will never be truly free.

in Galatians 5 - it tells us that we have been freed, we are called to freedom... and we are not to submit again to a yoke of slavery...

part of that freedom is that we are not obligated to do anything. God does not force us to do anything.

He WANTS us to love Him, wants us to obey, to follow. He WANTS us to come to Him and open up our hearts fully, to be honest and humble with Him so that He can free us from the things that we try so hard to hide, the things that weigh us down and hold us in chains. the things that keep us from truly being able to be loved by the one who wants so desperately to free us.

so take some time, i know i need to, to really talk with Jesus. to share your heart with Him...the good, the bad, the fear, the shame - all of it. get it all out in the open.

lets embrace our freedom and not submit to slavery again!

team!

just want to post some pictures of the team quick, from Mexico!

this is our team with some of the kids from the children's home in Mexico

and this is the official Praying Pelican team picture with our PPM staff, in front of our hotel in Tucson, AZ - just before crossing the border!!!

dont you just love our matching shirts??? :)