psalm 32:9

Psalm 32:9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.

so one thing God is using this team to show me is the incredible difference between what I can do and what He can do. i think i never realized how extremely different the two were.
But in the last year and a half or so since we started this...God is just showing me over and over again what He can do.
And it is so crazy how i can just FEEL when i am starting to take on something on my own, without God's help, without asking Him, without taking the time to pray about it and start to think that I am so talented and so creative...and then all of a sudden i get stressed out and unsure and nothing works and its just so overwhelming.
and humbling...
and I remember that I am not so talented and so creative. And I wasn’t at all until I finally let God take over. God is the gifted one…He just lets me use it.
how many times do i have to test Him? how many times do i have to wander away, and keep wandering until He pulls me back again...why is it so hard to just stay right next to Him?
Reading in Psalms again - Psalm 32:9 – (above)
I read that and it was like...whoa...that is exactly what i do! haha...but really...just kind of wander off, stop reading my bible, stop praying over things, stop taking time to learn... until i am pulled back by the bit in my mouth, - God opening my eyes to where i have ended up, yet again...that is humbling.
God has given us freedom...He doesn't want to force us to do things.
With all that He has done, all the times He has proven Himself and taken care of me and shown His heart to me…I still need HIM to pull me back, keep me near Him…I don’t do it on my own. And it’s a hard reality.
So my prayer these days is that God just gives me a passion for Him. An incredibly strong desire to stay right next to Him, never wanting to stray. To be truly satisfied by Him and only Him.
I have the same prayer for the team…for all of us. That we realize the depth of the gifts God gives us…seek to know more about them and start to understand the incredible power they contain as long as we keep Him in control of them, use them for what He wants and constantly constantly constantly ask what HE wants…seek His will…and only then will we even begin to scrape the surface of how close and powerful and real God can be…