psalm 139...He's got it.

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139: 1-7 & 23-24

this passage has hit me in a huge way in the last few days...
this time in my life is SO huge and i am being tested and taught and stretched...and while it gets tiring and hard at times - its so so so worth it. Its how He prepares us for what is coming...because He knows. and He knows what we are lacking.
i love this time of my life right now, as crazy as it is, i am trying to just soak it all in - not get too focused on what is next, but just trust that God has it all under control.
and the thing is - is that He actually does. He has shown me over and over again in the last few months that He is in control. He knows it all and He is in control of it all. its beautiful and i just am so so so in awe of how true it is.
just today there was a situation where i had the opportunity to get so angry and offended and get the blame off of me and put it on someone else...and i prayed. and instead of me having to worry about it - God just fixed it. just like that. this huge problem went away...and i am just so grateful that i took the time to refocus on Him...because my flesh wanted to make it ugly. but He's in control. :) its not always easy, but if it was - we wouldnt have to be learning the lesson.
so like in the psalm - my prayer is that God will search me...search all of me and keep on refining me...so that i can continue to experience more and more of Him. love it.